What Is Wrong With “Marriage Permanence Doctrine?” – Part 3 | Divorce and Remarriage

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What’s wrong with marriage permanence doctrine,
part three. Hi, welcome to today’s little lesson. It’s a joy to be with you. Even if you don’t agree with me, I love you
and I’m doing my best to try to help you see it my way, because this is my teaching. I know I’m going to get a lot of negative
comments on these videos, but just ask you to do it in love and don’t fight okay, but
we’re talking about the “marriage permanence doctrine.” I call it the divine divorce doctrine. It basically says anyone who is divorced and
remarried, is living in adultery, nonstop adultery, and then they should divorce again,
and they should if possible go back to their first spouse because in God’s eyes, “they’re
allegedly married to that person until death do us part.” Okay, so there’s some truth, but it falls
short. Let’s look at what the Scripture has to say,
and not just one verse, but let’s look at a couple of verses. One, of course, would be one the very first
times apparently that Jesus even mentioned this subject, broached this subject in the
Sermon on the Mount. He said, I’m reading from Matthew 5, verse
31, Jesus said, “It was said.” Now, notice he didn’t say Scripture says or
God says. This is an accurate quote, “It was said, whoever
sends his wife away let him give her a certificate of divorce.” I submit to you it never says that anywhere,
and I challenge anyone, show me where it says that in the Old Covenant. Jesus is not quoting what the Old Covenant
says, what the Mosaic Law says. He’s quoting what the scribes and Pharisees
are teaching about divorce. In other words, the main thing is if you send
your wife make sure you give her that certificate. That’s what they harp on, but you can divorce
for any cause. Jesus says now, here’s his counterpoint to
the Pharisaical teaching of his day, but I say to you that everyone who divorces his
wife, there’s one clause that’s put in here as exception, except for the reason of unchastity
makes her commit adultery. Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Okay. Now, again can you see that Jesus, he’s not
going to contradict that the law of Moses says for goodness sake. He’s the author of the law of Moses, he’s
ministering to people who are under the law of Moses. If the New Covenant changed things, the New
Covenant hasn’t started. It’s not going to start for about three years
yet, and basically the fundamental premise that Jesus changed basic fundamental morality
under the New Covenant is wrong anyways, but I don’t have time to go into that. Again Jesus is elaborating on the law, trying
to bring clarification of what the law is really teaching. This is what he’s saying, essentially the
law is teaching that in God’s eyes when a man divorces his wife, except in the case
of unchastity, he makes her commit adultery. Then the man who marries his ex-wife, he’s
committing adultery as well in God’s eyes. Of course other places, I think in Luke or
Mark, it talks about how he commits adultery, when he gets remarried and so forth. Does that mean Jesus wants everyone whose
divorced or remarried to divorce again? No, absolutely not because the basic premise
of the marriage permanence folks is that you’re married to that original person until they
die. That’s the permanence of marriage that’s where
they get that phrase, the permanence of marriage. Therefore the only remedy for your adultery
is to divorce your current wife and if possible go back to your first husband. However, here what Jesus said in Deuteronomy
Chapter 24, starting at verse number 1: “When a man takes a wife, and he marries her, and
it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in
her. He writes her a certificate of divorce and
puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house.” It’s his wife, they’re married, he writes
a certificate of divorce, so that indicates now they’re divorced at least legally divorced. He gives her that certificate and he sends
her out. THey’re done, right. She leaves his house, verse 2, and goes and
becomes another man’s wife. Now she’s married a second time. Now by Jesus’s definition she’s now an adulteress
in some sense because she made lifelong covenant with the first husband. Now again, he divorced her, so she’s not to
blame for the divorce. At least we can’t find any evidence for that. He divorced her, he gave her this certificate. She’s like the victim, but in one sense she’s
an adulteress because she had a covenant with this guy. She leaves his house and goes and becomes
another man’s wife. Now verse 3, “If latter husband turns against
her,” so the second husband, “and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand,
and sends her out of his house. Or if the latter husband dies who took her
to be his wife.” You get all that? She’s been twice married but now the second
husband either divorces her or dies. Here’s what she’s prohibited from doing: “Then
her former husband, who sent her away, is not allowed to take her again to be his wife.” Oh my goodness, so they must not actually
be married in God’s eyes. No, no, no they’re not still married in God’s
eyes because if she by remarrying committed adultery that then is what severs the covenant
she had with her first husband. If God wasn’t recognizing it at the time of
her divorce, in God’s eyes she wasn’t actually divorced, when she remarried this other guy
and consummated her marriage with him. Now she’s an adulteress according to Jesus,
right? In relationship to her first husband, that’s
who she committed adultery against. That relationship now is severed by adultery. That’s why Jesus said whoever divorces his
wife, except for the reason of unchastity makes her commit adultery. If in fact she has been unfaithful to him,
and he divorces her because of her unfaithfulness that’s a legitimate divorce. Why, because adultery is the breaking of the
covenant, it severs and ends the relationship. Period. Okay, so when the marriage permanence folks
say Jesus said whoever divorces and remarries commits adultery, and you’re continually committing
adultery. It’s non-stop adultery, the only way out of
that is to divorce again. Oh contraire, mon soeur. When that second marriage was consummated,
yes an element of adultery existed in that because of what transpired before. At that act, that in some sense adulterous
acting, that ended the covenant that existed with first husband. That’s proven by not only in Deuteronomy Chapter
24, which forbids the twice married woman to go back to her first husband, but also
by what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount. He made an exception for why the man who illegitimately
divorces his wife, there’s an exception to that rule if she’s been unfaithful. Then covenant’s been severed, and there’s
freedom to remarry. Okay, so maybe one more time we’ll look at
this. I know I’m going to get all kinds of disagreement,
but hey I’m doing my best. Okay thanks for joining me, hope to see you
next time. God Bless.

 

19 Responses

  1. j clemente

    December 3, 2018 10:43 am

    What about in the case of a narcissistic abuser who drinks and uses drugs is separation then divorce allowed when no change happens?

    Reply
  2. mrprosperity1

    December 3, 2018 11:26 am

    see it MY way exactly. you see David because you are remarried then you have to keep justifying it because you are not settled in your mind. how many times can you remarry and make life long vows. doesn't matter how many videos you make. #womanatwell

    Reply
  3. Aleksandra M.

    December 3, 2018 11:31 am

    I also always wondered why God said whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth is loosed in heaven. So clearly, if you loose the the marriage contract here on earth by divorce, then it is also done so in heaven. How can God expect us in this fallen world to live in a life long convenant? Some people just cannot do that because we are all selfish. We are fallen people who only live by grace. Some poeple are simply going to get divorced, thats just a fact. In many cases also when one spouse is an unbeliever.
    How could you EVER be together with an unbeluever, who is according to the Bible, DEAD in God's eyes. About what topics do you even talk about? You cannot. Thats literally light having companionship with darkness. And what about violence etc, God will NEVER want you to stay married to an abusive spouse. LOGIC and your BRAIN that God gave you, tells you he would never want that. Because anything else would literally be bondage, and OUR God is not a God of bondage. People are more strict than God himself, literally and put poeple in bondage when Jesus came to set us free. Now, ofc this doesnt mean that we go out an sin and be like yeah God forgives me. CLEARLY no real God fearing person will do that. But those who have the spirit of God know what I mean. Peace to you all and Gods blessings.

    Reply
  4. mrprosperity1

    December 3, 2018 11:32 am

    many testimonies of remarriage to covenant spouse even after divorce and remarriage to AN other. how do you think people overcome infidelity. many people stray and make up

    Reply
  5. mrprosperity1

    December 3, 2018 11:33 am

    your ministry would finish all marriages for adultery. ever heard of forgiveness healing and reconciliation ? that is what Christianity is about

    Reply
  6. Phyllis Gold

    December 3, 2018 12:03 pm

    Thank you for teaching this, David. This is also called The Tame Divorce Doctrine (TameDivorce.com). It proves remarriage is not perpetual adultery.

    Deuteronomy 24:1-4
    (Verse One) The woman and her husband entered into a marriage covenant for life.

    (Verse Two) The woman had sex with another man with the first covenant in effect.

    (Verse Four) The woman is defiled after the first covenant gets violated by adultery.

    (Verse Four) God forbids the continuance or renewal of the first marriage covenant.

    Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is a concession in which God breaks the first life covenant and recognizes the remarriage covenant. The presence of remarriage adultery in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 proves that Jesus was identifying the sin within that passage in His debate with the Pharisees. Mt. 19:1-12; Mk. 10:1-12 Jesus was NOT revoking or replacing the law; He was teaching it!

    Reply
  7. steve coley

    December 3, 2018 5:29 pm

    Many times I see stronger marriages between friends that are not married than those bound by contractual marraiges. A paradox.

    Reply
  8. Clint Jeanmarie

    April 20, 2019 5:45 am

    "This is my teaching" Wrong sir. Let Gods word be our teaching.

    Genesis 2:24 – Remarriage is adultery
    Deuteronomy 22 – Fornication, the only time you may divorce.
    Mark 10:2-12 – Remarriage is adultery
    Luke 16:18 – Remarriage is adultery
    Romans 7:1-3 – Remarriage is adultery
    Corinthians 7:10-11 – Remarriage is adultery
    Matthew 1:18-25 . Fornication, the only time you may divorce.

    Remarriage is adulty unless fornication is discovered during the engagement or on the night of your wedding. That's it. I know this is hard to hear, even the disciples had difficulty accepting this teaching. The road to heaven is narrow and few find it. Seek God first and pray he restores your marriage.

    Reply
  9. Tatiana J

    May 29, 2019 9:06 pm

    I think we have a good picture of what God expects in the Book of Hosea. Gomer “left” the marriage and went after other men. Was their “bond” dissolved in God’s sight? No, it was not. Hosea went after his wife and brought her home. She was surely “unclean/defiled”…………..yet their marriage was restored.

    If the “vow” of a second marriage is what you are thinking is the binding factor here, it appears that Jesus doesn’t even recognize the vow as binding. Otherwise He would never have called a second marriage a sin (adultery). The bond of the first marriage is what makes the second union, adultery.

    Reply
  10. Tatiana J

    May 29, 2019 9:07 pm

    As for Deut. 24: Those who say it is applicable to us today—–the church and the teachings of the NT, need to compare apples to apples. This passage does not apply to us, nor does it line up with what Jesus taught on divorce/remarriage. Jesus DID clarify and at the same time brought back what had been perverted by man. Even the disciples were astounded at His Words——-and they knew the “law”—so something WAS different and some things did change. When Jesus came to the earth—-no longer is it an “eye for an eye”, but now it is “bless those who curse you”, give more to those who take from you, “forgive and give the opportunity to repent—-don’t stone to death”………………..many things did indeed “change”………..but the changes were to bring us in line with God’s very heart and mind. Do you think the divorce/remarriage rate is reflective of people having the heart and mind of Christ……….

    Reply
  11. Tatiana J

    May 29, 2019 9:08 pm

    Jesus said that divorce was only PERMITTED/TOLERATED due to men’s HARD HEARTS. You don’t believe “hard hearts” are the will of God?

    Reply
  12. Tatiana J

    May 29, 2019 9:09 pm

    I think you are confusing the permissive Will of God with the perfect Will of God. Yes, God did allow Moses(permissive will) to enact a law contrary to His Perfect Will——until Jesus came and the light entered the world. Jesus brought the standards of marriage back to His PERFECT WILL by bringing us back to the creation intent of marriage. Hardheartedness had perverted God’s perfect Will for marriage……….hardheartedness and disobedience led to not only divorce and remarriage, but to polygamy and many other practices against the intent for marriage.

    Reply
  13. Tatiana J

    May 29, 2019 9:10 pm

    As for Deut. 24:1-4’s content, since every time it comes up people fail to notice that the woman spoken of in that passage is never charged with adultery by remarrying. Using this passage to say remarriage after a divorce is ok with God is not apples to apples. When Jesus speaks of remarriage, He DOES say a remarriage is adultery (Mt. 5:32, 19:9, Mk. 10:12, Lk. 16:16-18) . If this be the case, why do we always end back up in Deut. 24:1-4 trying to justify remarriages that in the NT Jesus has called adultery?

    Reply
  14. Tatiana J

    May 30, 2019 10:10 am

    You are doing a great disservice for the body of Christ by your false teachings. For 1500 years after Jesus, the church recognized remarriage to be adultery, and here YOU are twisting scripture to please your many divorced and remarried friends and family.

    Reply
  15. Carol Sanborn

    June 24, 2019 4:04 pm

    The whole thing is such a mess,I'm emotionally +physically sickened by Satan's deception of our weak flesh, when we fail to trust in the power of Jesus to lead us in His paths of righteousness.I refuse to give my heart or my body to anyone(including myself) other than Jesus Christ, since my only once in my life husband+ exclusive sexual partner abandoned our virgin marriage bed for an adulterous relationshit with a godless narcissistic golddigger . Sex in any form isnt worth it to me, to gratify the temporary sexual pleasure of my flesh for a relationship that is not permanently spiritually satisfying.Those of you who want to obey your own flesh instead of yielding to the Holy Spirit of the Lord will have to suffer, sooner or later, even more than I am presently, by having put sex as your idol above God. Jesus is the God above all
    gods that humans try to replace with other relationships+/ or distractions. Take the whole world(sex,human sexual relationships,all ungodly desires),+give me Jesus.
    He is the One purpose+reason for our lives,+our connection to Him matters most. HE has mercifully blocked my desire for pursuing anything sexual,
    by allowing the intense pain+suffering of the permanent greif I'm experiencing whenever the subject unfortunately surfaces, like rotten dross when gold is refined.
    I look forward to leaving this cruel world behind+living forever with the Only One who truly loves us with a PURE,TRUE+ HOLY HEART,namely Jesus.
    I'm in a great deal of sorrow,but Jesus is helping me endure until the end of this bitter pill of a life I have found myself forced to swallow…Jesus is the only sweetness I cling to, surrounded by an ocean of
    wicked selfishness.

    Reply
  16. Devon

    June 27, 2019 6:05 am

    The primary drive of permanence is to say that marriage is permanent and that divorce in a marriage that has been consummated is never allowable. The further teaching about divorcing the second wife is spoken against by the permanence teachers I've read/listened to. This man should not make such broad strokes in his grouping of teachings.

    Reply
  17. Neal Doster

    September 18, 2019 4:37 pm

    Contextually everything Jesus concluded about divorce and remarriage came from the Pentateuch. Do you the reader understand that?
    I ask this question because it is very common for Christians to apply Jesus’ teaching to the Church at the exclusion of it’s historic application to Israel.

    While I certainly believe it is relevant to the Church many false supposition are derived from not understanding it’s primal relevance to Israel. The historic confusion within the Church comes from interpreting Jesus’ teaching in a fashion which disconnects it from it’s retrospective relevancy to Israel. This mentally bypasses the concurrency of Jesus’ conclusions with that of Moses. If you don’t understand Jesus’ teaching as concurrent with that of Moses you will overlook a very important truth that explains the confusion and ambiguity within the Church today.

    The reason there are so many views (in regard to Jesus’ teaching) is because Christians don’t realize that everything Jesus said about divorce and remarriage was historically true for Israel. By understanding all of Jesus’ conclusions came from the Pentateuch we understand that EVERYTHING He said was relevant to Israel and ran parallel to Old Testament history.

    Contextually Jesus was the Christ – the promised one to Israel (Matthew 16:15-17) and He minister specifically to them (Matthew 15:24). I ask a young pastor who advocates the “permanence” fringe doctrines, who was Jesus speaking to when He spoke to this issue? He answered, the Church, which was what I was expecting him to say. But the Truth is Jesus wasn’t speaking to the Church, He was speaking directly to His covenant people Israel within the Theocratic System of that time. I’m not saying His teaching is not relevant to the Church, I pointing out the biblical fact that everything Jesus said was directly speaking to Old Testament history and scripture. Nothing He said was referring to New Testament scriptures, that’s because no New Testament scriptures existed. The young pastor had a predisposition to apply Jesus’ teaching to the Church before he understood it’s application to the very ones to whom Christ spoke. This is the propensity of those who advocates the “permanence” fringe doctrines David is referring to. They have unwittingly disregarded it’s concurrent relevancy to Old Testament history.

    If the Church overlooks it retrospective application to Israel it will create a vacuum that will be filled with false suppositions. Christians will spend all of their time coming up with theories explaining the adultery and worst of all they will advocate their theories to fix it. All of the views today are arguing back and forth about what to do about the adultery in remarriage. Most are familiar with the rhetoric and heated arguments among Christians. The biblical view would be the view that explains this issue (at any given point in biblical history) with the historical facts that preceded it. If one’s view does not follow a congruous understanding of this issue from Moses to Jesus to Paul, it will not be the biblical view that interprets a given text from the truths that preceded it. Knowing to whom Jesus was speaking and it’s relevance to them is paramount.

    In context of Matthew 19 and Mark 10 Jesus was making a counter argument against the Pharisees question which wanted to know all the reasons the law allowed for divorce (Matthew 19:3). Instead of answering that question from the base point of the law, Jesus instead answered it from the base point of creation, “the beginning” (v.4,8). Jesus reminded them that in “the beginning” divorce did not exist. It presently exist because of hard hearts (v.8). By appealing to God’s creative design for marriage Jesus masterfully exposed their callus hearts for wanting to end that which God created for life. Jesus made a counter argument against liberal divorce. He then admonished them to stop separating what God had joined together (v.6). That’s as far as Jesus took it. The “permanence” fringe teaching takes it much further, understand?

    Reply

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