UFP 41: Faith To Faith

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RD: Fluttershy, I’m flying sideways! FS: Oh no! Me too! RD: Oh no! RD: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
FS: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! TS: In today’s episode, everyone in Ponyville is lining up so
that they can drink cider. That is what is happening. That is a thing that we’re all doing. Someone thought it was a good idea for this episode if everyone just lined up so that we could all drink cider. S: Oh, it could be worse, at least we’re not watching paint dry. TS: Wow, Spike!
I know the writers are stupid but they’re not that stupid. S: I bet you 50 bucks next season we’re watching paint dry. TS: You’re on! S: Why are we lining up for cider anyway? TS: I don’t know, maybe because
RAINBOW DASH PEED IN THE WATER SUPPLY! RD: Hey, you can’t prove that was me! TS: You admitted doing it five minutes ago! RD: Yeah, well maybe I can’t prove that was me. TS: We saw you do it six minutes ago. RD: Fluttershy told me to do it! FS: Well, that isn’t true,
but I’m happy to take the blame for my best friend. RD: Shut up, Fluttershy! No one’s interested! AJ: Alright everyone, if you’re done being stupid I’ve
got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is I’ve had to quadruple the price of the cider.
The good news is I’m about to be very rich! Random Pony: You business practices are reprehensible! One day, we ponies will have had enough of your tyranny
and unite against your reviled machinations! AJ: Oh, well, uh, thank you Random Pony that I’ve never seen before.
So who’s first up for cider? PP: Oh! Me me me! Time to make LittleKuriboh proud!
Shut up and take my money! (crowd laughing at hilarious original joke) RP: Your low standards of humour are why no one
tries to make legitimate comedy anymore! One day, we ponies will rise up in demand of higher quality! AJ: Sorry everyone, Pinkie Pie bought all the cider.
You’ll have to come back tomorrow. Not entirely sure where she got the money for all that. P: I’m a professional gamer!
It is the best career choice and I recommend everyone do it. RD: It’s not fair! How come there isn’t enough cider for anyone else? AJ: Well don’t blame me! RD: Why not? AJ: I would prefer it if you didn’t? RP: The reasons behind your actions are… AJ: Would you shut up!
Are we just introducing random characters whenever we feel like now? Flam: Well good morning to you, Ponyville! Flim: A hallowed hello, hallelujah! AJ: Wow, this must be how Twilight feels all the time. Flam: Citizens of Ponyville, do not be alarmed.
I come bringing the word of the lord! TS: Hmm, someone’s trying to bring religion to Ponyville.
Watch out, Spike, this may turn violent and/or the apocalypse. Flam: I have some to teach you of the one true alicorn.
He who saved Manehatten from killer robots. He who first fought and defeated Discord. He who is totally best friends with Celestia
and she has a secret crush on him. It is King Lord High Commander Darkflame Steelwings the Magnificant! He has an extra pair of wings and also created magic. Flim: The original creator! TS: That’s bullcrap! Celestia is the only true alicorn! S: What about Princess Luna? TS: Princess who of the what now? Flam: Citizens of Ponyville, you need to ask yourselves are you sick and tired of the Apple family running out of cider all the time? Flim: All the time! Flam: Are you unsatisfied with the
unfulfilled promises of this faithless heathen? AJ: Faithless heaten?
Screw you, I’ll have you know I’m catholic! TS: Wait a minute, you’re catholic? AJ: Yeah.
TS: But you don’t believe in God. AJ: Of course I don’t! I’m catholic! Flam: Mares and stallions, don’t you think
now is the perfect time for change? RP: Just because you are well spoken and charismatic
doesn’t mean we will blindly follow you! We ponies are better than mindless sheep
and will not stand for this subjugation! Flam: Uhhh…
AJ: Oh, just ignore him, he’s a douche bag. RP: You may well try to hurt my spirit, but we ponies will not… AJ: You know, you may think your
some sort of champion of the population, but you actually just sound a lot more like an ass
who hates anyone who doesn’t share your opinions. PP: Yeah, you sound just like… Flam: Regardless of all that, if you come to the service of
King Lord High Commander Darkflame Steelwings the Magnificant, You will have all the cider you’ll ever require. I just remembered he has the power to make cider,
he can totally do that. AJ: You’re making this up as you go along! Flam: That is absolutely not true! King Lord High Commander Darkwing Flamesteel the Magnificant
is always correct. AJ: You got his name wrong that time. Flam: You may well point out things that are the truth,
but that does not mean that my truth is also not equally the truth! AJ: Uh, what now? Flam: How about we settle this in a competition? Whoever makes the most cider will be
the sole cider provider for this town. AJ: No, that’s a stupid idea,
and anyone who thinks it’s a smart idea is stupid. We’re not doing that, you piss off back to where you came from. Flam: Very well, peace be with you. AJ: Peace be with you. AJ: Oh, thank goodness, they’re finally gone. Wait a minute, the stupid bastards left their sacrificial cider here!
Everyone let’s get drunk! PP: Yeah! Shut up and take my money! (crowd laughing at the best joke again) BB: My cider’s got pee in it!
RD: Sorry! My bad.

 

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