Sup y’all? This week we tearin sh*t
up with The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss. Mama’s dun peaced outta da crib, and
since it’s pourin ballz outside, Sally and her bro are all alone wit nuthin to do. BOOOOORING. Then, BUMP BUMP. “Man who da f*ck
knockin at my– OH SH*T!” Well I’ll be damned, it’s a cat
rockin a big-ass hat. Dat cat like “Listen up churrin, it’s time for a HOUSE
PARTY!” “HOLD UP– there won’t be no cats ragin
up in dis HOUSE” “Psh hop off my nuts fish. I’m a stack
you like I stack change, b*tch!” Da Cat keep goin hard, tearin shit up, while
dat fish just won’t stop hatin. Then, da Cat whip out a giant red box with two hoods
stuffed inside named Thang 1 and Thang 2. Deez blue-haired bruthas take it next level when they fly kites in da house and mess wit mama’s threadz when– “Oh, sh*t! Break yourselve’s fool! Mama comin home!” “Don’t trip, fish-daddy” say the Cat.
“I got a swag ride dat pick up errything real quick like nuthin eva happened.”
kling klang kling klang. Hell yeah! When mama come home, errything all
tidy like it was befo. She ask: “What y’all lil’ shits do today?”
Hmm. What would you say? Now Dr. Seuss was bout as legit a doctor as Dre.
Matta fact, Seuss ain’t even his real name. It’s Theodore Geisel. And according to some of his homies, dis bruh wasn’t too different from da Cat in the Hat. Just like da Cat who always tossin
shit round, ragin hardcore, and makin a damn mess, Geisel was sick and tired of society
tryna keep everyone in line and actin like a bunch of tight-ass scrubs. I mean da Cat pretty much cruise up on dat spot wit one hand in the air and one on his nuts sayin: “Rules are for b*tches. Do yo own thang.” And the most subversive part
of this thang is the ending: “Should we tell her about it?
Now, what we do? Well…
What would you do
If your mother asked you?” Look at this shit– the narrator
actin like there’s a difference between what he SHOULD do and what he GONNA do.
You just know these kids bout to lie they asses off. Don’t even front, man. If you were
a little kid, you’d do the same damn thing. Dat playa-hatin fish reppin da part of society dat always wanna keep you on the straight and narrow. Some even say he connected to Puritan morality. Others say that’s da whole reason he is a fish:
cuz he lookin like dat Christian symbol you see on da back of hoopties all da time. And dat ain’t da only Christian symbol up in here, playboy. Afta da Cat drop in at da crib, he start stackin’ some shit and balancing it like a G:
a fish, a cup, a book… I could go on playa. If you keepin
it straight gangsta, you might see deez objects as religious symbols. Da fish=Christ, da
cup=the Holy Grail, and da book representin da Bible. He keeps stackin and stackin but
eventually it all hit the flo. Maybe it symbolizin dat society gonna fall to shit
if we keep tryin to keep things too tied up. Or maybe it tryna tell us dat erry once in
a while, we gotta forget da rules, get a little crunk, and let dat beastly side RAGE. Cuz
if we don’t, then shit really gonna fall apart. Naw I’m sayin? I hope you learned something today, young bloods. I wanna know what you guys think about this episode. If you wanna see mo stuff like this, click on dat nasty-ass green eggs and ham. If not, click on Dostoevsky’s miserable mug. Lemme know. We’re always listening
to requests and tryna get em all. So be sure to vote, thanks for watching, and I’ll
see y’all next time. Peace.