LOSING ALL FAITH | Guess The Wikihow #3


*wapish* Top of the morning to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to damn-dog! The guess the WikiHow game! The game that gives you the weirdest pictures ever and you somehow have to recreate a crime scene in your head as to what the hell this is supposed to be. The first one — um, *laughs* ok Lel-let’s reason this out. This is: How To “How to give someone a hickey”? No, doesn’t explain this How to poke someone in the mouth! and then use that mouth to bite someone! That’s exactly what it is. I know- I know damn well “How to decide if you should become a stripper” “How to be a punk” “How to impress a classmate” Or “How to preform a lap dance for your boyfriend or husband” Ah hum… Wha-…why is it for your boyfriend or husband? Why can’t it be a lap dance for your- for you wife or your girlfriend? Guys can do lap dances too Uhm. How to decide if you should become a stripper or the lap dance one. Because I-I have no idea what’s going on in this picture! What is this supposed to be?! “How to decide if you should become a stripper” Hmm… “Maybe I should lick that guy’s neck. Then I’ll know if I wanna be a stripper!” *laughs* Or… Ok- It has to be this. This has got nothing to do with being punk! Nothing got to do with… “Hey! Watch me lick my lips!” “Classmate!” And he’s like- *smacks neck* “Dayum that’s so cool!!” Uh…how to perform a lap dan-This? Nope! How to perform a lap dance for your boyfriend or husband! What?! Has any of this got to do with a lap dance?! Doesn’t have dancing or laps in it. Fuck you game! I’m down to fifty percent on my score… *groans* What is the title of this WikiHow article? How…to… summon sheets of paper! With your mind! “How to discuss Barack Obama intelligently” “How to succeed in a relationship with the perfect girl” Can’t be that one, cuz we’ve already gotten that one. “How to become an olympian” And “How to be a true hip hop artist” Ohh! Ohhh! I ache! Oh! It makes me weep! “How to be a True Hip Hop Artist” Write down a bunch of raps! What- “How to discuss Obama Intelligently”? Thats right! Couldn’t you tell from this picture? *laughs* What is this? Uh – *coughs* Oh! oh, back off man! That’s ho- that’s how I feel Whenever I fuckin’ play this game “How to Act Silly With Your Boyfriend” “How to Have Jehovah’s Witnesses Go Away” “How To Be Laid Back” “How To Stop Staring At A Girls Boobs” Ohhhh! I keep thinking I’m gonna come across one that’s super obvious But it’s never obvious! “How To Act Silly With Your Boyfriend” No. I don’t think it’s that one “How to Have Jehovah’s Witnesses Go Away” Ughm I’d do that, ‘Oh back up there Jehovah’s Witness! Oh not- not for me, not today! I don’t think that’s it. “How To be Laid Back” No, we got that one, that was the *makes fart noise* – One right? “How To Stop Staring At A Girls Boobs” A-that’s right! you put your hands up and you look like you’re gonna look at ’em you’re like, ‘Oh no!’ But you actually cover the boobs with your hands. Th- that actually doesn’t solve your problem That’s “How To Stop Staring At Them, But Also You’re Hands Are In Front Of Their Boobs Now” That- that’s probably worse! You’ve gone from, ogling to sexual, full on sexual sexual harassment OK, er, moving on… WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! I know you’re probably saying that that’s supposed to be a baby That is not a baby! That looks like Dr. eggman as a baby! “How To Squirt Holy Water In A Demons Eyes” That’s what I’m gonna guess that this is *laughs* “How To Take Action If A Guy Calls You Ugly” Feed your baby! *laughs* “How To Survive A Freestyle Rap Battle” Feed your baby! “How To Be A World Citizen” “How To Pole Vault” Wait What? *chuckles* What, what? O-Kay! How to be a world citizen? I have no idea how that’s supposed to be, fuckin’ surviving a freestyle rap battle. YES! I won! Now give me my bo- bottle *sucking noises* *chuckles* Maybe it’s the baby who’s rap battling This is just his assistant take action if a guy calls you ugly Again, I don’t see how Um How to pole vault: feed you’re baby and then go pole vault How to be a world citizen Is that right? No How to take action if a guy calls you ugly OK! Um Thats the- that’s the first one, Poke him in the back, Contort yourself in a weird position, that makes you look like you’re backwards-forwards, Say no to the devil, DON’T let him stand on you. Be classy. If you understand that ugly is a weak and childish insult then respond in a polite, very adult way. “If someone’s acting childish respond in a polite way”? Here! Eat your bottle! I give up on this game “What is the title of this Wiki-How?” I d- This FEELS like it should be something obvious But I have a feeling it’s not gon- “How to love you’re girlfriend” *coughs* Not like that, eugh “How to understand gay and lesbian people” Like they’re some fuckin’ sorta plague or something They’re normal people! You just talk to them like you talk to anybody else! “How to make people think you’re a witch” -Get braces “How to smell seductive on dates” ok… um, how to love your girlfriend? I’m gonna guess? That’s right! but for the love of god For the life of me I don’t know why *laughs* “How to point at your new hairstyle!” Check out ma do! That, or how to be, telepathic I’m hopin’ it’s telepathic Or teleken, telekinetic “How to act silly with your boyfriend”, “How to stop a sneeze” “How to – how to start doing stand up comedy”, “How to act like royalty” Help! “How to act like royalty”… Point to where your crown should be “How to start doing stand-up comedy” Yeah… Yeah, it had to be that one You point to your face and say “Look, look how funny” *fake laugh* *chuckling* And then people laugh at you, and then you’re a stand up comedian Oh, how to be appreciative of your baby Oh, “How to raise a child” “How to love yourself” “How to talk dirty in bed” Oh, no! No! “How to raise a child” Yes! Yes, we’re fighting back!
What the fuck are you? Oh god, don’t look directly at it! Is that a girl in a mini skirt with a tank top and four arms?! What the fuck is happening What is wrong with your lips? *MGS !-Sound* Did you try to eat a butterfly? “How to dress like a hillbilly” “How to deal with strict christian parents” “How to keep your- how to accept your boyfriends interest in pornography “How to play a prank” Prank? How to dress up like a hillbilly Why does she have four arms? Why? Why is this a thing that’s happening? Log in to view? I dont want to fuckin’ log in to view I guess we’ll never know why th- why the hillbilly had four arms Like she’s just dressing up LIKE a hillbilly She’s not wearing a skirt she’s wearing shorts fuckin’- WHAT THE FUCK WHY? WHAT IS HAPPENING? DOES HE HAVE A BUTT-PLUG? He’s staring at himself all seductively in the mirror! Even though you’re eyes are staring this way in here And you’re staring that way in there What? Ha… How to flatulate secretively I mean, that made the most sense But What? Why has he got a fuckin’ Got a pad on his ass? Ok “How to-” Oh god “How to live with your conjoined… …significant other?” Significant other, oh god That’s not, that’s not how that works, You were born with your significant other? “How to be a good entertainer” “How to respectfully decline sex” NO NOOO NO *laughs* “How to be pretty” You have two faces *Coughs* -respectfully decline sex? *laughs* Just whip your head back and forth *sings* I whip my head back and forth *laughs* Okay, thank god I thought you were grabbing her pants and you were getting ready to pull ’em down “How to measure a girl’s waist” I mean that’s very straight forward *Questions life once more* I mean I guess not Hng- foolish of me Shit on me thinking that would be- What? K, it can’t be knife fighting cause’ we got that How to stop a sneeze? “How to support the arts” Well yeah Cuz unless tying a fuckin’ measuring tape around you’re waist is gonna stop a sneeze, I don’t really know “How to deal with you’re boyfriend Naruto” Yeah? *Cough* I think so Eh-te- Touching someone after they’ve been electrocuted Er, how to survive a lightning strike “How to avoid uncomfortable conversations about religion” OH “How to tell if you genuinely like someone”, “How to get on a re- OK so not the last two Could be the second one, but I dunno ARGGH First or second, first or second This is a hijab right? Is that what they’re called? Um I think so Is that what it’s trying to point at? But I- i dont actually know if they’re a religious thing If- if the clothing Is- is representative of the religion or if it’s another part of society Oh no! No! How to tell if you genuinely like someone FUCK ME Oh god, well this one isn’t even trying! “How to… How to throw together a wiki-how article “How to give someone a hickey” Ok Butthole face man over here doesn’t have a hickey You don’t have a hickey You don’t even have a face! “How to make out” “How to lose you’re virginity without pain” GIRLS *chuckles* “How to choose a rigorous college schedule for your first year” Please be this one Please b- thank god Ok, I’m done I’m d- I can’t take any more this is like playing with evie all over again Makes me just want to jump out a window It’s killing me slowly, I’m gonna cough up blood in a minute *laughs* Some of these were fuckin’ ridiculous, wait what would the next one of been? *coughs* “How to point and laugh at someone” aghhhh “How to become an alpha male” *laughs* “How to play wink murder* I don’t fuckin’ know ANYWAY Thank you guys so much for watching this! If you liked it PUNCH that like button IN THE FACE LIKE A BOSS and high fives all round Wapish, wapish Thank you guys and I will see all you dudes… IN THE NEXT VIDEO! *Outro music plays* What’s this one? “How to wish you never played this game” Heh


100 Responses

  1. fred jonathin

    January 3, 2018 10:34 pm

    "how to smell seductive on dates"

    me: boy howdy i tell ya i know all about this subject. before every date i just douse myself in deer musk and BAM! you will get ALL the ladies

  2. Liz

    January 8, 2018 7:38 am

    it's dangerous to watch these videos at 4 am with your brother sleeping in the room next to you and your parents right above you.

  3. the art øf regular shadøws

    January 9, 2018 5:55 am

    how to give your boyfriend/ husband a lapdance:
    -point at your lips
    -grab his face

  4. Garrett Cash

    January 12, 2018 6:26 am

    The girl had four arms because some people think that hillbillies have sexual intercourse with close relatives which can cause birth defects,
    FYI, we do not

  5. Carlington Mascara

    January 12, 2018 9:23 pm

    Hey Jack! When the question "How to understand heterosexual people" popped up earlier you didn't defend THAT! Sure wish you didn't defend homosexuality so much 🙁 It's a perverted lifestyle that messes with kids heads. My kid and I love your vids but I wish you left stuff like that out :S

    (edit) By the way, they practically ARE the walking plague. AIDS/HIV/herpes runs more rampant in the homosexual world since they tend to be more promiscuous.

  6. Normal'sWayOverrated

    January 19, 2018 9:00 pm

    How to get Jahova's Witness to go away; tell them you're Christian/Muslim/Satanist and tell them to go away.

  7. Seth Begley

    February 3, 2018 1:56 pm

    "How to dress up like a hillbilly"

    Pretend to have four arms from all the incest that wouldve came before you.

  8. katerz 9887

    February 8, 2018 10:45 pm

    This series has been killing me because of the absurdity of the scenarios coupled together with the images and your humour!

  9. Jude Gamer

    February 10, 2018 7:35 am

    3:43 I see that Alex Louis Armstrong has finally either had a child, or became a baby out of nowhere…..

  10. YouTube-reject

    February 13, 2018 8:00 pm

    Anyone else pissed about the blatant homophobia in WikiHow's articles. Instead of naming your article something that assumes heterosexuality, name it something gender neautral so that LGBTQ+ people can read it without getting pissed off. Not to mention "How to understand gay and lesbian people." Like excuse me but if your straight ass needs to do research to understand people that aren't exactly like you, then you're fucking stupid.

    Excuse my rambling but I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community myself so this is important to me.

  11. Mad Rascal

    February 15, 2018 6:28 am

    Is it just me or do those two instantly look like Magnus Chase and Samirah al-Abbas? 9:00 [blonde boy and girl with the hijab]

  12. Elliot Minnick

    February 18, 2018 3:08 am

    "How to understand gay and lesbian people like they're some sort of fucking plague or something. THEY'RE NORMAL PEOPLE. You just talk to them normally "
    My god finally someone who understands

  13. kassidy

    March 22, 2018 3:17 pm

    I wouldn't doubt that Jack would be a great male stripper. He is skinny and funny, and any guy would pay to see him dance. Plus, I bet he'd be GREAT on the pole.

    this got kinda weird and I'm sorry…

  14. That Male

    March 24, 2018 3:03 am

    I pulled up this episode and saw the first one and said, "Oh, so it is gonna be something about a hickey." 3 seconds later, Sean says, "How to give someone a hickey?" P.s. I have no clue how to spell hickey.

  15. Tara Ionescu

    May 7, 2018 4:30 am

    The one with the demon looking baby should be 'How to shut up Donald Trump!' (Demon baby looks like trump lol

  16. Katherine the Aroha

    May 10, 2018 12:49 pm

    the thing is, Jack, this game isn't hard. i got almost all of them right. you just don't understand that the pictures don't have to encapsulate the entire meaning of the title in a single image!

  17. JoelTheParrot

    May 17, 2018 1:50 am

    i actually teared up at the baby. i don't think i've ever teared up at anything. congratulations.

  18. Captain’s_Brat

    May 30, 2018 7:00 pm

    Sean… th-that's not a minnie skirt……… thos are shorts.
    👖✂(there's no shorts emoji… someone needs to fix this)

    Also, the WAY he pronounced Naruto😂. (Sorry Sean, I'm not trying to make fun of you, I'm just a HUGE anime fan. I know it's probably the accent. I love ya man, But its still funny.)

  19. Felix Måhlen

    June 1, 2018 2:19 pm

    Did u try to eat a butter fly, when I heard that i had choke in my muth. RIP keyboard…

  20. Crystalwolf78

    June 2, 2018 4:58 pm

    The secret farts is a pad that absorbs smells so you can let go a silent one or do one elsewhere none will have smelly knowledge.

  21. MsOMG

    June 7, 2018 8:28 am

    i love jack! also when I go on his channel it gives the the option to sponsor him that's strange

  22. Juan D'Marco

    July 4, 2018 7:55 pm

    Jack: "That is not a baby!"
    Also Jack, talking about the same thing: "That looks like Eggman as a baby!"
    Us that a baby or not/

  23. Mk -_-

    July 6, 2018 6:57 am

    With the "why can't it be girlfriend or wife" I thought he was talking lesbian then I was like Ooh jack lgbtq supportive. But then

  24. Vasco Neto

    July 17, 2018 11:48 am

    The rule to this game is to simply chose the most unrelated title to the image and you win 80% of the time.

  25. Ariona Miller

    August 1, 2018 6:55 am

    Tye end is funny😂 its all funny! The thing that made me laugh the most! If you dobt know what to play play this!!

  26. Zymotic Diamond

    September 2, 2018 5:50 pm

    Yes hijab is a religious thing it comes from Islam even though anyone could were it and it was basically the clothing of people back then

  27. aberrant curse

    September 10, 2018 7:48 am

    Jack: why does it have to be boyfriend or husband?
    My mind: he's supporting Lowy+
    Jack: guys can do it to.
    Mind: oh

  28. the FBI agent who monitors your web history

    October 11, 2018 11:12 pm

    “…why can’t it be a lap dance for your girlfriend or wife… guys can give lap dances too”

    So close Jack, so close

  29. Danny Strickland

    February 19, 2019 2:10 am

    Wiki how you assuming sexually, maby the girl that lap dances was dancing for her girlfriend or wife, god

  30. Ashton Martinez

    March 27, 2019 3:12 am

    Ace ventura "thats it no one messes with the doo. And also the hill billy one is fery insulting becuase just because they're hill billys dosent mean they are descuasting or deformed.

  31. Nintendo Ninjalex

    July 3, 2019 7:21 am

    The thumbnail looks like the person is trying to dispell the mustard demons with ketchup.


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