He: So Teal, T: Hi He: you’re awesome, but I’m
sure you hear that all the time. So my question is, um, when I talk to people, and
that was pretty good too, but, when I talk to people… I can see… like… try to connect with
them and I try to bring, I don’t know, a
forward energy sometimes I get… Like maybe they
think I’m a mean Like, oh I’m a bad guy, but
I’m not that bad guy. I’m extremely Respectful
of people. my first thing is
like respect But I know that’s different
in every culture. so… when I hear… Like when I think of
Conor McGregor or Mayweather or
people like that, I’m like I get lit up. I’m
like, that’s awesome I love that. And then when
I’m with my family, they say like, “oh man.
Well, he’s a bad guy” I’m like what? that guy’s a bad guy?
that guy don’t do drugs. he don’t do drugs a lot of people in society, they
see him as like, a bad guy but when I see him I see him as
someone who’s going after it and sometimes I think like… I guess what my question is
for clarity like, going for it. You’re like, you’re
not the bad guy T: Define going for it. He: like you’re not stepping on
someone’s toes, but it’s like Oh and this really came up with
Donald Trump. Oh my family, they really got angry
with me on this. They’re like, as I… “you know,
I think I like the dude… I don’t know if he’s a
bad guy like they say. I mean come on man the media,
they’re lying to you 24/7 and they all hate this guy?
There must be a reason for it.” They’ve been lying to you
since you were born. Even you tell me this. My dad tells me this
but they all hate him It’s like dude seriously? the whole structure, you
know it’s corrupt. They did the whole thing
on like Bert and Ernie like they’re not
real characters Are you seriously gonna put a
news story on Burt and Ernie? They’re fake. it’s like the whole
news is fake now. But like, and they just
like, they hate him. And when he won
it was so… I didn’t express it because I didn’t
want my family to be like… I could see the tears
in their eyes. They felt this pain, they felt this
horror. So the pain was obvious. But I wanna express myself and who I am, but I didn’t want to step on them. T: what do you
like about them? I Like that he’s like… I see like he follows his heart. I don’t think he’s a racist
like they say he is T: you’re just in a… He: I don’t know though maybe he’s a bad guy. Maybe
the guy is a total criminal. I don’t know. T: Okay the conversation It’s not about
whether Donald Trump is a bigoted or not He: nah I don’t
care, but like, T: the conversation should really be about
the fact that you’re in a constant fight to try to make it OK,
or have it be OK or to get permission for
going for what you want. He: Yeah, it feels like
a fight. T: OK So when did that start? I think it started with my dad. Cuz I get the most reaction
from my own father. T: OK. He: Because I looked up to him.
Like he was this figure. T:Take me way back
to childhood. And do you have little
kids in your family? Like cousins or anything? He: yes, yes T: Okay, so I want
you to imagine the last birthday
party you went to. He: My mind is like, not
working with me. Um… Oh, OK, OK He: is that funny? All right, what do you
wanna know about it? T: OK, so when your family
has these birthday parties Does it happen in a park? Does it
happen in a house? Where is that? He: it happens in a house
always on Sunday. And they give a cake
and everyone comes, and If you don’t you’re… T: I love that I like, had to prompt him
so hard. He’s like, I don’t know, I don’t really remember birthdays.
Oh, it happens every Sunday I already understand
your culture. OK, so so at these birthday parties what
happens when a little kid desires something and it’s counter to what their
parents desire for them? Something little it’s
gotta be benign, “I want another
piece of cake.” He: oh, oh, yeah, I T: I want cake now. Oh he loves video games
my little brother. My dad hates
video games. T: OK. So what
happens? He: He keeps it at my
grandmother’s house My grandmother will
get it for him. T: OK so what’s the message
about going after what you want? He: It’s not good. T: That’s where this
comes from He: oh, yeah, huh?
That’s right. T: If you go after what
you want, then what? He: I’m a bad guy or… There’s consequences. T: We’re gonna be doing a
core belief exercise later, He: that meditation was
good too by the way. T: I know. Okay ready? He: So there’s like a gas pedal
and there’s like a brake. T: if I’m bad then what?
in the family? He: if I’m bad then their
feelings are hurt T: and If their
feelings are hurt? What would that mean?
Or why would that be so bad? He: Oh cuz… T: Don’t take me in a loop.
Go deeper. He: If they go… If their feelings are hurt,
then I’m a bad guy. T: No that’s the loop.
I said don’t take me there He: OK. Damn So if their feelings are
hurt then it’s like… If their feelings are hurt… Then I I can’t connect
with them? T: OK so there you go. He: I can’t be
with them. T: And if you can’t be with them, why is
that so bad or what would that mean? He: I mean if I can’t be with them than
like, I guess they’re left behind? T: yeah you get left behind. What’s so scary about being left behind? Why is that so bad and what does it mean? He: It means that… I don’t see them no more? I don’t see them
how they were? T: OK, if you don’t see them
anymore, why is that so bad? He: I don’t see
them anymore… T: look at what your life looks like if you don’t see them anymore. He: It’s totally different T: how? He: Cuz I’m going
after things I want. instead of sticking around.
is that a loop? T: You’re weaselly. He: Was that a loop? T: Yeah. He: So wait… T: It was a cop-out. He: Well, it was the truth. T: ask yourself what life looks like
if you never see your family again. He: It looks better? T: If that was the case you would
go after what you wanted. He: you’re right.
Wait so… so If I go after… I’m always in argument
with them then? T: You are trying to weasel out of
answering the actual question because it’s a painful one He: They don’t love me? T: Don’t look for the right
answer look for your answer. He: OK, that makes sense. Okay, so repeat it back? T: OK, it’s good that you did that so, if you
wanna look for your own personal truth T: here’s a little trick
you guys; most people when you ask them a question if they’re
looking for their personal truth, if you watch their eyes,
they’re tracking up this way that actually means they’re
engaged with their mental field They’re not looking at the
cerebral truth of themselves So a good trick to use if you’re trying
to access your personal truth or getting somebody to is to get them to look
down at their chest So looking down
at your chest He: Okay, T: I can see that’s so
easy for you. OK Looking there, what would be so bad if you
never saw your family again? Look what your life
actually looks like. look and I’m sorry, but you’ve got a
culture that cares about holidays, so… He: Oh my God, yes. T: so just think
about holidays. He: uhum. T: What does it look
like on Christmas? He: No one is there? T: yeah so where
are you? He: I’m not there. T: where are you? He: Doing… What I want? I’m doing what I want. T: that’s true. He: Yeah, it is true.
I’m doing what I want. T: OK, so what are you
doing on Christmas? He: Probably… What am I doing
on Christmas? All right not celebrating it? T: Ok, so you’re not
celebrating Christmas what are you doing if you’re doing
exactly what you want on Christmas He: Probably just treating
it like another day? T: Okay, so what
are you doing? He: I’m not showing
up to the events. T: OK, where are you
going instead? So do you see? This is
part of the problem your so in rebellion, your
life is lived in rebellion. He: Yes it is. T: so you can only answer my questions
in the context of what you aren’t doing What are you doing? He: I mean, I’m there, but
I’m not there I guess I’m there… I’m probably hanging
out with friends? T: Oh really? they have
no family either? He: I know.
So it’s not real. T: Well, I want you to see
what it actually looks like cuz believe me part of you
has already been here. He: It’s not real. T: OK, so where are you?
Do you have an apartment? He: Yes, T: So you’re sitting
in that apartment He: By myself. All alone.
I’m alone! That’s it right? I’m all by my self in this?
Yeah that’s what it feels like. That is what it feels like now
that, come to think of it. Yeah. I’m just alone. Do you understand?
So like we’re we’re laughing and you can keep laughing because
you’re super entertaining but There’s there’s an aspect
of this that’s not laughable. And this is what it is: because
we are relationally dependent There is no possible way
to make alone, OK. And I realize that especially
people in the spiritual field love to resist this because
in the spiritual field It’s all about you can get everything
you want from within. Right? It’s fucking bullshit.
You guys. It’s bullshit. We are a species
that depends upon people. Now it would be ridiculous for you
to go up to a dog or to a deer That’s also a relational
species and say: “you really need to do
some self-help work so you can learn to be
alone in that kennel” No, it’s very simple you
isolate a dog in a kennel… It’s going to deteriorate
and it’s going to die. and it’s going to develop a lot of
behavioral issues along the way. That’s the same
for a human. Alone is a bigger threat
to us than ANYTHING. I mean anything. Do you wanna know
how I know this? Because if even food and
water was a bigger priority for our species than
not being alone, When we broke up with people
we wouldn’t starve ourselves I know that you guys
know what that’s like you have a breakup with somebody
and it’s like, I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. Believe me if it was more of a priority for
you to be eating, that would not occur the single most important
thing for a physical human is connection. So the risk that you’re
looking at is too great He: Because I’m gonna
be all by myself. T: No that’s what you’re telling yourself.
What we just found is your belief. He: Oh that I think I’m gonna
be alone? but I have to… T: how did I just
get you there? He:You said… T: If you do exactly what
you want to do? He: I’m gonna be alone.
T: That’s your core belief. He: forget about going
after what I want cuz I need to
be with people T: yes, but own this first.
He: oh, OK, so… He: my core belief is that if I go after
what I want I’m gonna be alone. T: yeah. He: that’s what
I believe? T: yes He: oh, okay. I see. He: Oh, I really believe that?
T: mm-hmm. And so what you’re doing is fighting against that having to be the truth. So when you’re sitting there and you know,
you’re talking about, you know, Mayweather He: like, I want people and I don’t want to
be alone is really what I’m fighting T: Yes, and every
time they go… so let’s say that you identify with
something that somebody does He: Oh because they’re on the other side.
So I’m over here. So I’m all by myself… T: No but, this is
what’s happening; So tell me the name of that, he’s
a boxer you like, right? He: yeah.
Mayweather, T: okay. So Mayweather,
he’s a white guy right? He: No Conor McGregor.
He’s awesome too. Ok, yeah Mayweather.
Yeah. they’re all awesome. T: I can’t keep
him straight. He: Sorry, Mayweather is a little back
dude, but he’s super fast, he’s a boxer. T: OK, OK. so what do you
like about him? He: like that he just
goes after he T: That guy goes after what he
wants. What does he want? He: He just wants money. T: Do you want money?
He: Yeah, T: okay,
He: and he likes… T: OK, Just stop there.
He: Alright. T: I like that guy on the screen because
he goes after what he wants. which is money.
That’s what I want I’m mad that that guy gets
to go after what he wants and I don’t get to go
after what I want So what you’re doing is you’re
saving the fight being about you, by making the
fight about him. He: Oh, I see. I’m fighting over… T: if you can get your Mom and Dad
to like Trump and like Mayweather He: then I get them to like
me. That’s true T: But without having it be so scary that
you can look at them in the face and say I like money and
I want money And I want to go for what I want
and I might want to punch people. He: Right T: Because you already know
what that’s gonna be about. He: Oh, it’s gonna be
a big whole thing. T: And by the way, I want to catch you in
this cuz many of you in this audience fall into the
same category. Let’s say you have like a family member who hates teal Swan, right? He: I’m afraid to tell them about you
because that’s gonna be really not good They’re gonna see one thing
bad and it’s gonna be a problem. T: Yeah, but you realize this
is like the case with me people have two Facebook accounts
like one for Teal Swan material and one for the
other stuff, right? but some people get into, instead of hiding me entirely, thank you, some people get in fights with their
parents about you need to like Teal and it’s really
not about me. It’s that they’re
using me, To try to desperately say look
you have to like this about her because you’re too scared to
admit that’s the truth of you. He: Right Because the consequence
for them is alone. Do you have more sympathy
for why you’re like that? He: Yeah that makes
a lot of sense. Or I guess that’s not
sympathy but right, T: yeah that’s
part of empathy. He: Okay. Yeah, that
makes sense. T: Okay, so let’s challenge
this belief. The belief is if I’m myself
I’ll be completely by myself. He: So I’m challenging it?
T: yeah. He: Well that can’t
be true. T: Really?
He: Right? T: I don’t know. He: Yeah it can’t be true.
No, it can’t be true. T: How Come? He: Cuz there’s other
people that resonate it’s gonna resonate
with what I want. T: Is Mayweather completely
by himself? He: No, maybe, I don’t know,
when he’s home? But I don’t think so. T: OK, so we can’t use him if you’re
like, “I don’t actually know.” He: Well he’s not
by himself. T: Do you wanna
use him or me? He: let’s use you T: OK, am I by myself?
He: No, T: how do you
know that? He: You’ve got a whole
team of people. T: OK. And you actually
see them today? He: yes, so it’s not just
on the youtube. T: Okay, so you see that I have
a whole team of people? Do I strike you as a person
who’s not really myself? He: Nah you seem like
you’re authentic. T: OK, so what’s the difference
between me and you? Why is it that I’m not gonna
end up alone and you are? He: that makes sense,
you’re right. You’re right.
So this belief is right. T: Which belief the
one you have? He: no the one that want.
T: Yes. He: Not the one I have. So you’re not alone you go
after what you want. T: Yeah. He: so… So that means I could
be the same way. because what one person
can do I can do. T: Yeah. T: Now, does this mean that every person loves me for going after what I want? He: No, that’s a myth.
T: Yeah T: So what do you need to do?
This is my question for you: Now that you’ve looked at this and
you realize that it’s total bullshit, what are you gonna
do to make it okay? To go after
what you want? because I will tell you what does happen
when you go after what you want and when you’re
authentic as hell. You will polarize everyone. He: They come after you? T: Well, everyone is
gonna polarize. He: Yeah, I know that’s gonna happen. So the people who are not okay with
your authenticity are gonna go —>But the story you’ve been
telling yourself is that you’re gonna end up completely
by yourself, right? not that when
people go —>That there won’t be
a whole other