Episode 5: Are You There God? It’s Me Darwin | Science vs Religion | Adult Animation

, , 100 Comments


Two minutes until sermon! Is everything taken care of? Yes your holiness.
One minute people! You proof-read the pamphlets?
You polished the collection plates? Yes your holiness. And refreshments for the crew? Enough wine and crackers to last us til
supper. Magnifico. Ahem. Fah fah fah … fire!
Buh buh buh … brimstone! Brim. Stone. Can we get a sound check? Heavenly. Give em hell sir! Ahem. And the Lord said the fearful, the unbelieving,
the sorcerers and the idolators shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone! Can I get an Amen? Huh? What’s going on? Did I miss the rapture? Is this because of those orphans? Those whore orphans? The whorphans? Hello. Are you lost my child? Come in, come
in. Welcome to St. Peter’s Basilica. Oh hello. Come right in. Maybe we can find you a seat.
Something in the front row perhaps? Well actually I’m just… I know, lucky you. It’s not every day one gets to meet the Pope. Actually I could use some directions. Can you tell me where the Science Center is? The wha? Oh, you know the building where they talk
about how the Earth was made. Origins of life, natural disasters, that kind
of stuff. Ah, you probably read about it. Blasphemy! Let me see that. Science? And more science! I thought the church stopped all this nonsense
when we locked up Galileo. And since when do you serfs know how to read
the written word? Oh, never mind. I can see the line from here. Do you think the Super Science Friends are going to show up? The museum is being dedicated to them. Why is Einstein 14? Science saved my mom! I …
I don’t get it. What does science have that religion doesn’t? Why, we’ve got Adam! And Eve! We’ve got plagues! Seven of them! And we’ve got Noah’s Ark too. You can’t tell me they’ve got anything as
good as Noah’s Ark. Yeah, but that all seems a little far fetched.
Where’s your proof any of it even happened? Why don’t you go back in time and film it? That’s what the Super Science Friends would do! Hahahahaha Cardinals. I’ve just had some … divine inspiration. And it is for those reasons why I named him “Schwancy”. Thank you. Well, um … that was certainly informative. Darwin, I believe you’re next. I was going to bring in one of my tortoises, but something … uh … happened … on the
way here. So instead I chose to share the pets that
helped cement my reputation in the scientific community. They are various varieties of tanagers. But you probably know them as… …Darwin’s Finches. Oooh … can I hold one? It was these birds that gave me my first real clue about evolution. Notice the subtle differences in beak, body size and colour. After observing this I realized that all species must share these common bonds. And so I devised this handy diagram. I call it the “Tree of Life”, as a bit of a ribbing to those holy rollers in Rome. Look here. You can see that there are even
more finches than the ones I brought in today. For example the tanager family and … uh… Hold on. Where are they? My finches! There should be over a dozen birds right here! Hey! Don’t look at me. What? What is happening?! No! No no no. No not the seals. No, not the lizards! Not the snakes! No, not the tortoises!
Anything but the delicious tortoises! Nooooooo! Let’s go see what’s up. Am I going to get to show off my pet gerbil or what? His name is Bernie. Z3. I think there’s something going on. Are you detecting any time anomalies? Sigh. It’s fine. It’s not like I was doing anything anyways. Scanning. Seems norma…
Whoa! Oh my God! Oh Jesus! That is not normal. There, there Darwin. I’m here for you. Holy taffy tits! What the damn devil is going on in that Galapagos Islands? Super Science Friends, get to the sciencemobile! The anomaly is originating from 2000 B.C. Unfortunately, because of the size of the anomaly the closest you’d be able to get to it is about 30 miles off the coast. So, you are going to need something a little more sea worthy. Way ahead of you! Let’s go find those birds! Okay, for the 175th time, let’s try to get this Noah’s Ark thing right. You got that doohickey ready? This time we’re gonna try it lion, tiger,
then hippo, then baby kangaroos, then elephants. Got it? You think you can manage that? Yes your holiness. Ah, this time I think we’ve got it. Oh, dang it to heck! How many times is it going to take to get
this right? Do we even have any lions left now? None, sir. Well at least the Romans won’t be feeding
any christians to them in a couple thousand years. There was also a 19th century frigate sailing by in the background, so the shot was ruined anyway. What? Where? Scientists! They’ve come to stop us from proving the validity
of God’s great and holy heavenly word! Sic semper tyrannis! Cardinals! Deus vult! Battle stations! Tally ho! How dare you dirty lab rats try and stop the will of Almighty God! It is beautiful, glorious, Godly, divine, God-will that this ark save all the Earth’s
animals! You’re literally killing all the Earth’s animals. What else is on this boat? As long as I was travelling through time proving
the word of God, I figured I’d go ahead and correct a few things
while I was at it. You see, how can there be dinosaur fossils
making people ask questions about “evolution” when the dinosaurs never went extinct! Mwahahahahaha! Aw, for God’s sake. Hmm? Mmm … nope. Stand aside beardo. I got this one. Whew. That’s right. Come here big bo … whoa whoa! Ow! OW! Okay, this was a mistake! Ow, goddammit. That’s gonna be all kinds of bruised up tomorrow. And God said: I am going to bring floodwaters on the Earth to destroy all life under the heavens. Everything on Earth will perish! So are you gonna call me? Okay, so you have magic God powers.
You’ve proved your point. That’s fine. You were right, we were wrong. How about you not drown all these animals? What kind of God would want you to do that? This is 2000 B.C. That means this is Old Testament God! How does it feel Super Science Friends to have the knowledge that there is more in this universe than your pitiful “science” can explain! Hahahahahaha! If you love knowledge so much, then I’ve got a little piece of… … the Garden … of knowledge… I mean, Garden of Eden … Tree of Knowledge…
for you… SNAKE IN THE GRASS! Apple throw! Jump! Yeah! Science: 1, Religion: 0. Take that. Please sweet beautiful glorious Jesus baby. Come forth from your mangery heaven and aid your blessed servant! Dammit. What the f**k. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die. Well. See you guys in hell. Did someone call for a Hail Mary? Admiral … give em hell. Get as much as you can! Mmm … oh … that’s delicious… So tender … Juicy! You say your mother left you … and now you’re
out here looking for her. Well … yes, as a matter of fact I have seen
your mother. Why she’s just inside here! That’s right.
Come on. Just follow me. Why hello there young man!
Welcome to the Church of Teslaology. Would you care to have your A/C levels audited? Tesla be with you!

 

100 Responses

  1. [Cloutmaster] Phluphyy

    June 3, 2019 8:08 am

    Einstein killing the pope was a reference to like episode 2 or something omg

    Reply
  2. Luicraft11 HD

    June 5, 2019 1:27 am

    Soy ateo dios no existe las teorías de Charles Darwin son verdaderas no venimos de un ente celestial venimos de miles de años de evolucion de incontables especies , la religión solo cree que salió algo de la nada y lo creo todo absurdo. Nosotros tenemos hechos ustedes solo tienen fe

    Reply
  3. Miguel Angel Rangel

    June 6, 2019 4:26 am

    Loved the episode, Tesla be with you guys 🙂

    A shirt with that would be nice

    Reply
  4. Ori No Game No Sekai

    June 7, 2019 1:49 am

    To you, they're right, and you know what!…, you're right…, when a person's faith is shallow, and you should!…, nothing, and I mean nothing is gonna make them stop…, so they can say and behave in such a twisted manner towards the most important. . ., in an easy way so that faith is reaching no heavens and no hell, and so there comes the real testament, when they feel distracted and LOST…, and then, only then, they shall realize what's real and what's vague…, and they'll wish they aren't even born into this world, a wish made by the Eyes of humbleness and regret…, oh, shall they be given a mercy?!…, but they've been warned…, and now, they shall taste that for which they were living…, and that…is a fantasy of imaginations and wrongly placed faith…, so they are pulled with chains of fire, long chains…, to their place…to their DOOM…, and they shall live there. . . . ForEver.

    To The Lost and Dead…., Do You Hear Me?!!

    Reply
  5. ScytheHunt

    June 7, 2019 11:59 am

    how can churchill afford to send cruisers to save the super science friends when they need it to protect themselves from the germans?

    Reply
  6. Lucas Bradley

    June 8, 2019 7:10 am

    It's amazing that the British military are wasting there arms and ammunition to help the super science friends kill cristions and God instead of using them for the war

    Sorry for bad spelling

    Reply
  7. Otto Von Bismarck

    June 9, 2019 11:13 pm

    Atheism: The religious belief in a Spontaneous, Causeless, Sourceless, Purposeless, Meaningless Existence.

    Reply
  8. Niemand Wirklich

    June 16, 2019 7:59 pm

    I am sorry, I think I missed something; when did Philipps mother get missing?
    Edit: just remembered last episode, "no wonder your mother left us". But not equal to missing, actually. Do we know what happend to her?

    Reply
  9. Rider Strano

    June 22, 2019 11:11 pm

    You ACTUALLY got the king George class battleships right! But why are they shooting canon balls instead of artillery shells?

    Reply
  10. CKing

    June 23, 2019 3:04 am

    I feel the need to be an advocate for sane Christians by saying what the Pope did is something many Christians would do nowadays, maybe even being the dominant type of one, but is not what Christianity is supposed to be.

    Reply
  11. polska strong

    June 26, 2019 7:14 am

    The historical Inaccuracies it BURNS (with that whole Galileo thing The catholic church was fine with it until they found out people were switching to Baptism because they were a bit more strict wit the science. then they said "sorry buddy no spinney earth for you") so in other words, get. reckted. normie. scum.

    Reply
  12. Hypotec

    June 28, 2019 7:39 pm

    I appreciate the reference to Lord Bung, especially considering that he is the animator and all.

    Reply
  13. polite critique

    July 2, 2019 12:54 am

    Bible and Jesus say Islam is the true religion. Following paedophile priests is the way to satan

    Reply
  14. David Hoffman

    July 2, 2019 5:16 pm

    Re: Darwin's finches 🐦. They don't prove the theory of evolution (and yes, it's still called a theory to date) as the finches are, well, still finches. What this does prove, however, is adaptation instead.

    Reply
  15. Daniel Carrier

    July 8, 2019 2:44 am

    Where in Leviticus does it say you have to eat your children? I couldn't find anything about that.

    Reply
  16. Random kid With hat

    July 15, 2019 11:37 pm

    Who needs anything when you have a navy the navy dose all your chores in a second yours or 10 yen

    Reply
  17. DigidesteinedSayian

    July 18, 2019 4:08 am

    I think that the cannon that killed God didn't make God burst into coins; the cannonball was filled with coins. Apparently, God tells people to stop worshiping money because it can become more powerful/tempting than religion. So God is killed by something he admits can kill him.

    Reply
  18. Jack Newell

    July 19, 2019 5:40 am

    did anyone see lord bung at4:10? the guy at the end of the line? u no, lord bung? anyone?

    Reply
  19. sandwich- kun

    August 6, 2019 10:02 pm

    So in this universe God exist but at the same time he didn't know that dinosaurs existed. Well the lore in this universe is pretty fucked up

    Reply
  20. BelgianLivesMatter

    August 10, 2019 1:47 pm

    The Pope when he dies virgin Catholics "NOOO THIS IS HERESY!" Me the Chad orthodox " benis"

    Reply
  21. 983D Bleu

    August 12, 2019 2:11 am

    In what other show can you say you saw Winston Churchill father a bunch of scientists and a teen Albert Einstein and kill god

    Reply
  22. JoshDaSovietPotato

    August 17, 2019 2:31 pm

    scientist loses
    Churchill:DID SOMEONE CALL FOR THE HAIL MARY
    ROYAL NAVY ARRIVES AND KILLS GOD

    Reply
  23. Gamer Nuggits

    August 19, 2019 9:38 am

    someone from super science friends saying love of god in a science vs religion episode. juuust whaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Reply
  24. MORCOVEA

    August 19, 2019 9:39 pm

    From this point on Heavan will be a Britich Protectorate under the rule of the Queen Elizabeth the second (new testament god bless her)

    Reply
  25. Alex the great

    August 24, 2019 8:49 pm

    What a masterful way to leave something for science and for religion in this. Gods death was so comical I didn’t even care about how that would work.

    Reply
  26. Patrick Ancona

    September 13, 2019 6:53 am

    Guess you didn’t know Darwin was a devout Christian, he didn’t believe “his” theory was anything but a thought exercise, also it’s just this last pope who’s evil…. ya the 1940’s Pope was no saint, y’all are pretty fucked how you look at God, I wouldn’t worry tho, you’d have to be like democrat level hitlery voter evil to burn for all eternity

    Reply

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