9 Problems in Atheist / Religious Relationships

, , 100 Comments


This August, my friend Dale McGowan
will be releasing a book about relationships between people
who are atheists and religious. And, you know, during
wedding ceremonies when, you know, the officiant says something like, you know, “In better– For better or for worse,
in sickness and in health…” Well, Dale’s book is called
“In Faith and in Doubt”. And in doing the research for his book, he
ended up speaking to a lot of couples who are in these mixed religious relationships,
for lack of a better term. And he got a good sense of what works,
and what doesn’t. And I know a lot of you
watching this, you may be in relationships
with someone who doesn’t share your religious beliefs,
or your atheist beliefs. And so, we wanted to come up
with a list of the things that
work in these relationships, and what doesn’t work. In another video, we’ll talk about some
of the things that make those relationships work, but for now,
let’s talk about nine things that Dale says makes
those relationships difficult. If you have any of these issues
and you don’t find a way to mitigate them, your relationship
may be in trouble. You had the same worldviews
when you got married, but then,
one of you changed. You know, you always go into a relationship
thinking you totally know your partner, you know them
better than anyone else. But what happens if you
met your partner at church?
And all of a sudden you get married, and at some point down the road,
they realize they don’t believe in God anymore. That’s going to be
a lot of tension right there. Or what if you’re an atheist, and you get married,
and all of a sudden you realize your not religious partner
starts believing in God. You know, I married someone
who’s not religious, but if all of a sudden she told me
she wanted to start going to church, I’ll admit that would probably
weird me out a little bit. It’s not the end of the road right there,
but it’s something we’d definitely want to talk about. I want to say things will be okay
if that happens in a relationship, but it’s one of those things
that you just don’t expect after the marriage. You don’t expect a big change
like that after you’ve already said your vows. Both partners intensely believe
different things. You know, if you’re
a hardcore atheist and your partner pretty much
just shrugs off religion, like, “Oh, believing in God?
Nah, I don’t know,” you’re probably okay. But if you’re hardcore atheist,
and your partner is a hardcore evangelical Christian
who thinks you’re going to hell, there’s going to be
some problems there. Both partners are very dogmatic
in their thinking. And this is not the same
as intensity. This is all about
how willing you are to budge on your beliefs. You know, if you are with someone
whose beliefs are now different from yours, are you willing to say,
“Okay, you have a good point”? Are you willing to say,
“Okay, I might be wrong about that”? Or are you absolutely stubborn
and clinging to your beliefs, no matter what. You know, if you both are going to cling
to very different beliefs, good luck with that. One, or both of you, have a strong desire
to convert the other one. You know how hard it is to change
your partner’s bad habits? Well, you’re probably not going to change
their concern for your eternal soul either. Or, if it works out that way, you’re probably
not going to change their belief in whether or not
you have an eternal soul. If you’re both trying
to change each other, or “fix” the other person, you’re just adding stress and tension
to that relationship. If the non religious person
is an anti theist, that could be bad. You know, if the person who is an atheist
in the relationship doesn’t just not believe in God, but thinks that people who are religious
are brainwashed, or people who are– Or religion needs
to be eradicated and that person’s with someone
who is religious, that’s going to be a problem. And, by the way,
that’s also not going to work out if you’re with
someone who’s even mildly religious. Forget someone who’s hardcore
in their thinking. Let’s flip it around:
if the religious person is hardcore about their faith, or fundamentalist
in their thinking, there will be problems. I mean, it’s one thing if they just,
“Oh, I believe in God” and that’s about as far as it goes. But if they’re, you know, a Mormon, or a
Jehovah’s Witness, or an evangelical Christian,
or someone who really believes it’s their job
to win souls for Jesus, that’s not going
to work out so well. In both cases, it’s hard
to have mutual respect when you think the other person
is either stupid, or destined to Hellfire. The marriage already has
other high-risk factors. If you have differing
religious views, and other high risk factors that often lead to a divorce,
it’s definitely not a good mix. What are some of these
other factors? Well, if you have a huge
age differential between you two; if you got married
at a very young age; if you have a history of drug problems
or alcohol problems; if there’s a history of divorce
in your families. Those are things that tend to increase
the likelihood you may get divorced also. Throw in a religious battle
into the mix, and that’s not going to bode well
for your future either. You experienced
serious disapproval from the extended family
or your community. You know, it’s one thing if your partner
can deal with your difference of beliefs, but if you can’t visit
your partner’s parents because they look down
upon you for your beliefs, or they want to convert
your children, if you have any, or if you can’t even hang out
with your partner’s friends because they look down on you
for what it is you believe, that’s going to make it really tough, because
you can’t really be part of your partner’s life if you don’t know her family members
and her friends. There’s a disagreement over religious identity
and religious practices when it comes to the children. Will the kids choose a religious
identity for themselves? Will they go to church? Will they be baptized,
or confirmed, or bar mitzvahed? Are you even willing to have
these discussions? Because if you’re not, you’re going to have to make
some tough decisions in the future. And if you guys have differences of opinions
on these things, and you don’t work them out before the child is of age,
where all that stuff matters, you’re going to have a hard time
dealing with those issues when they come up. So, those are some of the
biggest problems that can occur in relationships between
atheists and religious people, but there are ways to overcome;
there are ways to make those relationships work and you can see that
in this video right here. Again, all of this comes from
Dale McGowan’s new book “In Faith and in Doubt”. It comes out this August.
You can pre-order it using the link below. And if you have ever been in any of those mixed
faith relationships and you know what some
of the warning signs are, and I didn’t mention them, let us know about it in the comments below
and hopefully some of the other people reading the comments can know
what to look out for if they ever end up
in that same situation.

 

100 Responses

  1. Josh Traffanstedt

    October 31, 2016 7:58 pm

    my chick is christian. I'm atheist. we're fine. It's not as big a problem as some people think.

    Reply
  2. Sheldon K

    December 4, 2016 5:59 pm

    My mom is a Christian, my dad is an Athiest. Been married for over 26 years. I turned out Christian. And they are happy as ever.

    Reply
  3. Tible UWU

    December 27, 2016 6:24 pm

    I was in a relationship like this once, really the only way to make it work was to have a mutual agreement that neither one of us would insult the other based on beliefs, I agreed to visit his Church while he had Mass, I wouldn't participate in prayer or anything but still, he agreed to answer my questions about Catholicism and try to answer it from an agnostic or passerby point of view. We made it work, the only trouble we had was that it was a long distance relationship but that literally only interfered with how fast we'd responded to each other's texts.
    The only reason we broke it apart was because his family, excluding his Grandma, such a nice lady, didn't approve of the relationship being gay, he chose family over me, while it stung, we broke it up on mutual grounds, and now we're just online buds who MIGHT met later in life

    Reply
  4. REDDY Roberto

    December 30, 2016 8:03 pm

    My girl was a JW, I was behind her during a year ! now we're together we have a child and she's witness of my D…k lmfao! seriously, I open her eyes on her relegion and she left it !

    Reply
  5. Abby

    January 9, 2017 3:45 pm

    For those who are atheists, if someone who is of a religion claims they have had a religious experience such as a miracle or revelation, what would you account for this experience? Really curious on this one!

    Reply
  6. Yuu Sonoda

    January 15, 2017 5:59 pm

    Atheists generally have better sex lives with their significant other than Religious people.

    Thanks to disbelief in god, we aren't confined to certain types of sex and positions, Atheists can spice up the sex as much as they want, within the comfort zone of their partner.

    Really Conservative Christians only have Missionary in the bedroom, While Atheists have EVERY sex position in the book, and even use imagination and create new ones.

    Reply
  7. ThatGuyThatGames

    February 12, 2017 9:52 am

    Tell you what I've recently had a really hard time as a 13 year old trying to find someone to date and ask out because everyone is Cristian in America.😢 piss off ladies just because your Christian doesn't mean it's going to be a bad relationship. What the hell man?! Someone tell me if there is a good way to avoid this from happening because I've been through 2 girls so far who refuse to like me and I'm struggling to live life at it's fullest. I'm suffering from depression at this point thinking about it and I wish there was less religious girls to find because I'm having terrible luck so far. At this point I sit on my couch playing video games not living the full live experience because religion is taking over my social life. Fuck it I'm going to lie and say that I'm a Cristian. That should work out just fine. It's at the point where to get a real taste of life I'd have to do that. You know what! I have a better idea, I'll either grow up being a rapist or move to London where there is less Cristian's so I can actually have a decent life without much religious interruption. I'm in this point right now where I really want to consider moving to a less religious place on the earth. Of course I have no control over that since I will have to live with my parents till I get a job. Come on man! Whoever is going through the same situation please comment I'd hate to be the alone on this one. #understandme

    Reply
  8. couldnt choose a username

    March 9, 2017 4:53 pm

    Please reply anyone out there that's atheist. I am a Christian and basically we are taught that when our ancestors or grandparents sin they are cursed. For example, if a person has a family history of divorce, a family history of having metal issues etc. it will pass on till the fourth generation or from generation-generation. How do you guys view that? Right now, you guys are sounding a lot more logical, I'll give you that. I am a hardcore evangelist/protestant, but IDK.

    Reply
  9. Random Person

    April 12, 2017 9:23 pm

    I am not sure about atheist-religious relationships..Even if neither try to force their beliefs to each other and convert them,problems are going to emerge no matter what..Do you get married at a church or not? Children..Do they get baptized or not?Do they learn about religion at school or not?Do they go to church or not? Someone has to back up anyway.. Someone has to "sacrifice" their beliefs for the other..

    Reply
  10. UTube Junkie

    April 18, 2017 6:42 pm

    There are asexual relationships so this may or may not apply.
    Disrespect for another's convictions on sex and lowering your boundaries for your partner.
    First of all, sex is messy in religion for as a Christian, I was taught I had to be available for my husband whenever he wanted. Bullshit btw.

    Secondly, when I was a Christian (I am atheist now), I didn't go out with the people who wanted sex before marriage. Not because they were bad people, but because I felt convicted to wait.

    Now as an atheist, if I were to marry someone religious, I find it important to honor my partner's values on sex as long as I can first honor my values. There has got to be some balance. I wouldn't have sex with my partner if they wanted to wait till marriage however, I don't want to be legally married. Therefore our compromise should be having to decide for ourselves what constitutes as marriage. Also, there needs to be no obligation for sexy times if neither of us really want to.

    Compromise and honoring each other…which I think works for all relationships regardless of religion or lack there of. 😊

    Reply
  11. Dian Melati Sukma

    April 21, 2017 1:07 pm

    when i met myboy, it was about 1 year ago i was a hardcore religious person and he wasn't .. just a boy who raised as muslim …. then we break, i never had contact with him, about 3 months ago, i became an agnostic and suddently met him a month ago … he become a hardcore religious now and try to make me become a religious person again .. he said that he should make me stand in the "right" path like him, he always remind me to pray and go to mosque …. 2 days ago, he invited me to meet a preacher, honestly i'm not ready to meet that preacher, i'm sure they would "force" me to accept their views and accept god

    Reply
  12. Eric J. Foster

    May 8, 2017 4:48 am

    Funny story. I actually ended up dating a Jehovah's Witness as an atheist, but I didn't know it until I told a Jehovah's Witness Joke about Halloween to a friend, and she's like "You know I'm a Jehovah's Witness, right?" and I said "so you don't do Christmas Carols either?" and she was like "nope." and I was like "So is that the other time you dont go door to door?"

    Reply
  13. Lea D

    May 10, 2017 11:12 pm

    This was not what I was expecting from a comment section on a video for atheists… Oh, the irony…

    Reply
  14. S. Gehlbach

    May 11, 2017 11:30 pm

    My mother is a Christian and my father is an agnostic. My brother and I went to church until we were 16. Once we turned 16 we got to choose whether or not to go to church anymore. I hated church and became an atheist. My brother is going to seminary school. I think mixed religion marriages can work, but both spouses need to be flexible. My brother and I are incredibly close and we are not afraid to have respectful debates with each other about religion. I feel closer to my father, but I get along well with my mother, too.

    Reply
  15. Barb DeSouza

    May 12, 2017 8:49 pm

    I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses and yes, before you attack I get that we are hated. Believe me, I get it. Anyway, you mentioned several things that are assumed and not true. We do not believe in Hellfire. We are not judges, if a person married to a JW is anything else, we are told to set a good example. Not to argue or preach. Nobody is perfect 100% of the time but arguments in marriage brings dishonor to Jehovah, the originator of marriage.

    Reply
  16. AtheistGunGamer22077

    May 13, 2017 8:19 am

    my girlfriend is a Muslim and I'm an Atheist but surprisingly she knows and accepts my Atheism little afraid of how her parents will take it lol

    Reply
  17. CrookedGaming 88

    May 14, 2017 7:57 am

    number 9 is my biggest fear, to have children with a religious person and they try to make the kids religious, I couldn't stand by and watch them get brainwashed

    Reply
  18. AJ213

    May 28, 2017 3:35 am

    I don't care if someone is religious as long as I can respect them for other reasons and they are not super religious.

    Reply
  19. Artur Jaskólski

    June 6, 2017 11:09 am

    I'm a socially active atheist and my wife is a christian. The real problem with communication between us is that she doesn't believe I don't want to convert her no matter how much I stress that I respect her beliefs and it's not in my interest to change them.

    Similarly – she thinks that I ridicule people no matter how much I stress that it's not the people I criticize, but set of harmful and dogmatic rules. I find it really frustrating that she believes in the Bible given zero proof, but doesn't believe the intentions that are clearly stated directly to her.

    I think it can go both ways – in some relationship an atheist may feel the pressure from a believer and also mockery of atheism ("awww… don't worry honey, you'll grow up and then you'll see that there's a God. All you need is maturity that you don't yet have").

    Reply
  20. Cinamon Bug

    June 19, 2017 4:17 am

    I started to talk to this girl we talked for 2 months and when I told her I was an atheist she stopped talking to me like what the fuck we had something to sweet and she threw that all away only cuz I believe in evolution sometimes I hate religions people they don't make sense sometimes

    Reply
  21. Justin Waters

    June 26, 2017 5:53 am

    I've been an atheist for about 7 years now. I'm to a point that I want to settle down; I have a good paying job, a house, etc. Except a wife.
    Every girl I'm interested in, they're very Christian. It doesn't bother me, honestly, and I'm willing to even sit through church or bow my head during a prayer to show respect, but I just don't believe (and if it came down to how you raise a child, I would let the child come to a decision later in life freely). Right now I have a date coming up with a girl who is very very religious (first date) and she's very involved with her church. Which is fine, but I fear she won't accept me simply because of my views and I find it crushing every time. She doesn't know I am atheist.. I'm not sure how to approach this.
    I want to ad, I've even tried believing again I was so desperate.. But the bible is just so incredibly flawed and doesn't come together well with modern knowledge. It just seemed as if it really is a piece of 1st century poetry.

    Reply
  22. A C

    July 1, 2017 6:20 am

    I'm engaged to a muslim guy and he hasn't ever pushed his beliefs on me, but I'm terrified that one day he might become super religious and try to. To be honest, for most of our relationship I didn't even realize he took religion seriously as he put up with me dragging religion, and he made jokes about religion and god himself. I knew he passively believed in god but to me that's different than "religious" and therefore OK. Recently he's been getting more and more back into Islam. Never once has he ever pressured me into anything, and I've discussed issues with him I had with it and he took it nicely and respectfully. I really love him more than anything and as long as his religion doesn't effect me, I couldn't care less as there are way more important things in life to worry about. And honestly, outside of this our relationship is ideal. But militant religious people scare the shit out of me and I can't deal with that, and even though he claims it'll never happen nor effect our relationship, I'm scared it will ruin us someday.

    Reply
  23. Alec McGrath

    July 8, 2017 5:40 pm

    I began my conversion from Christian to Atheist back in October 2016. But I finally came to terms with myself after some reading, documentaries, debates, etc. Now finally I just came out as an Atheist to my girlfriend back in March 2017 (July 2017 as I type this). We've been dating for nearly six years and are completely 100% comfortable around each other, but this is the one thing that was hardest for me to tell her. We originally met in church… Enough said there.
    So when I told her, she was upset, but she listened, and we discussed, and we cried, but it didn't all happen over night. Once the thought was thrown out into the air that we may be believing in bullshit, it became a small worm in the back of her mind. Not too long after I told her, I began showing her Richard Dawkins documentaries and eventually moved to the little more harsh documentary with Bill Mahar, Religulous.
    And now from seeing her feedback and reactions when watching these documentaries, I am very certain that she is going through the conversion process.
    I am soon going to ask exactly where she thinks she is in all of this soon. But regardless of what she or I believe, we both know our relationship is strong enough to continue. But it will still bug the shit out of me if she continues believing.

    Reply
  24. Minister Mouse

    July 12, 2017 3:41 pm

    My girlfriend believes every word in the bible is divine truth.. Despite never actually reading it. She threatens to end the relationship almost every week because I'm agnostic on a good day

    Reply
  25. Claire Nixon

    July 19, 2017 9:14 pm

    I would consider dating a Christian if for one: they did NOT try to force my kids to go to church or to force any beliefs on them. second: if they did not think that gay people/transgender people are abominations, if my partner believed that then I would end the relationship immediately. third: if they thought that I was going to hell for my lack of belief then I would not want to be with that person because cmon! your partner literally believes that you should go to hell to be eternally tortured! that's all kinds of messed up

    Reply
  26. Sandra Noneofyourbusiness

    July 23, 2017 9:43 pm

    Whether or not to circumcise your kid would be a deal-breaker for a lot of 'mixed' marriages.

    I predict that, in a hundred years, the very thought of circumcising a baby will be seen as barbaric (as it should be).

    Reply
  27. Mayideza

    July 24, 2017 7:51 pm

    As a Christian watching this video, I would be okay with being with someone who doesn't believe in God or the Bible, but I would not be okay with being with anyone who identifies as an atheist, as they can be quite rude to religious people and it would cause problems in the relationship. I also wouldn't want to be with a person from a different faith, such as Islam, or any other religion that believes that they are "right" because I believe that would also cause problems.

    Reply
  28. Isabella Stephens

    July 25, 2017 12:24 pm

    My mom's a Catholic, my dad's a Mormon, and I'm a in-the-closet-Atheist. My father's family tried their damn best to convert my mother and I to become Mormons. When my mother first moved to America, they hounded her to convert, constantly stating that she should get baptized. When she refused to, they shunned both her and my father. Even when my dad was dying from a disease, the barely acknowledged them due to their religious beliefs. I had to pretend to be baptized to stop them from hounding me too. It's not like my mom's side of the family was any better. They constantly go to fancy churches and Lord forbid you refuse to go with them. Any person who isn't Catholic is a demon sucking away money from society. Any person who isn't Catholic is just an idiot. The only good thing that came from having parents with two different religions is choice. The only reason why I was able to decide to have a religion was because both my parents agreed to not shove their religions down my throat. I've decided to pretend to be a regular Christian so they don't start demanding that I follow a religion. However, that doesn't stop my entire fucking family tree from asking when I'm going to be baptized. It's horrible. Relating to this video, sure, it's terrible when your partner has a differing point of view than your own. Sure, it may stink when you have arguments. But at least you probably are independent and can walk away when a situation gets too messy. When you are the offspring of a couple with differing points of view, your entire fucking life can become a shit show. So, to any future parents, don't be a twat and let your damn child choose their view on life, and don't let your family be a dick to your partner. Just because someone thinks differently doesn't give anyone the right to persecute them. (That's my Goddamn comment for the day. Just me bitching a bit. Sorry if I got on your nerves or anything.)

    Reply
  29. kimberly stein

    July 26, 2017 12:58 am

    Even if mixed religions married or get into relationships its hard. They have to decide what church to attend on sundays. Like a jewish person and a christan. The jewish faith has a lot of commandments.

    Reply
  30. AJ H.

    August 3, 2017 6:01 pm

    So many atheists/agnostics in the comment section but I can't find a single one to date where I live 😅

    Reply
  31. Parthian Capitalist

    August 13, 2017 7:45 am

    ()_() just. Let. Your. Children. Decide. For themselves

    ….. What if one child is religious and the other is atheist? What if they take my views wrong and become antitheist.

    Reply
  32. Brithany Flores

    August 15, 2017 8:02 am

    What do you tell your kids and still respect the views of your partner if you are atheist and your partner is Jewish?

    Reply
  33. Parthian Capitalist

    September 14, 2017 12:54 am

    I am fine with believers, but believers are not fine with me (at least when it comes to marriage) because it's apparently a sin

    Reply
  34. Phanic! at twenty one falling discos

    September 17, 2017 1:17 pm

    My girlfriend is Catholic and I'm agnostic
    But she's not very religious and I'm just quiet about it
    We both make jokes about religion (I make more though) so I think we're cool
    I don't get it why religion is such a deal breaker for people in these comments

    Reply
  35. Ferenc Szabolcs

    September 25, 2017 9:07 am

    Sorry but atheism is not a belief, just wanna point it (0:39). It is lack of belief in scifi or fantasy from their point of view.

    Reply
  36. Michael Parker

    September 29, 2017 2:46 pm

    I've had relationships with women who were technically theists but had no interest in talking about their beliefs much and after digging I realised they don't believe most of what they claimed to just like the majority of theists are, and people like that I'm fine with.
    But with one woman everything was going great and started talking about marriage and kids, but her parents started pushing her to raise them in a very religious way, and I could tell she wasn't very religious but refused to stand-up to her evangelical parents so wanted horrible indoctrination for bringing up kids, and this was a big reason we separated.

    Reply
  37. Martin Nicolas Selave

    October 16, 2017 6:17 pm

    Are you start listening to this guy only in one minutes I realized that II am in the oven .. We love each other but we have totally Different point of view on the atheist by the way

    Reply
  38. Martin Nicolas Selave

    October 16, 2017 6:18 pm

    We want to change each other are totally opposite side but I love is big the love die In the middle…

    Reply
  39. Brady Burns

    October 28, 2017 1:44 am

    I don't mind believers, but believers seem to mind me, I think that when most girls are religious, they act better because they had parents who raised them trying to drill theism in their head, I respect theists if they respect me, many theists are good people willing to listen to my discussions, and I respect that, just the way I used to be, raised Christian, turned athiest

    Reply
  40. That Frosty Ape

    November 15, 2017 12:18 pm

    So. When it comes to established fact. Like, for example…. the letter J not existing even a thousand years ago… or that the Christian theology is ripped directly from Ancient Egyptian theology… or that ALL religions are based around Sun worship… or that Christians celebrate the solstices, Pagan holidays… even though, these are all facts, completely provable and have been shown to be true via actual evidence…. Y'all are telling me that I still have to accept it when my girl says that I'm attacking her beliefs because she won't accept facts? I'm sorry, but fuck that. If fanatics want to believe in fairy tales that's fine, but what of their children? They're just gonna indoctrinate them into a life of spiritual terrorism and scientific ignorance, just off of the basis that they cannot accept that they are, in reality, completely wrong. That in itself doesn't make fucking sense. Isn't pride a fucking sin? lol

    Reply
  41. RAOBANION

    November 22, 2017 6:15 am

    Atheists lie too much, always doubting and faith is thin.  They want to trade you in when you both hit 60.  If your not rich, it is not going to happen.

    Reply
  42. Davie L arts

    November 30, 2017 12:54 am

    I'm currently with an ex-Mormon who hasn't come clean to her parents yet. I've been with her for about 18 months. They won't let her date me because I'm not Mormon (even though their congregation is so small that there's no guys within her age range). We still do in secret though. No doubt they'd get very mad and maybe even disown her if they found out. But it's only a little more than a year until she finishes college and they won't have any control over her. Even if we end up not being together by then I'll be happy she's free from her parents. But I do hope everything works out for us.

    Reply
  43. Сергей Кушнир

    January 21, 2018 12:53 pm

    I'm married for 3 years now, and i successfully made my wife atheist. But she was never deeply religious to begin with. She where like – i'm not sure, but i kinda belive in god and afterlife. After my arguments and reading bible herself she dont believes in god anymore, but is kinda sad about absence of afterlife. My parents and her dad are kinda agnostic, their position is – i dont know is god real or not, i just leave my life to be good to people and hope for good life and maybe afterlife if it exists, so they rly dont care what we believe. While her mom is pretty religious, but she says that i'm christian anywaycoz i'm good man and help people ( i'm volunteer in charity organization) so even if i say that i dont believe in Jesus he still in my heart etc. Her position is pretty strange for me, but we love each other anyway.

    Reply
  44. anna anna anna

    February 3, 2018 12:15 am

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-v1Fppjlvc
    I was an athest too until I had a NDE similar to this doctor's

    Reply
  45. Rose Kennedy

    April 24, 2018 2:23 am

    I’m a Christian dating an atheist, and honestly a big part of how that works out is that I don’t believe in hell the way that it’s often taught. I see it as merely Earth without the Christians, and a lot of people will stay there and choose to live out eternity there. If someone eventually decided that hell isn’t what they want, and they want to live in heaven with God instead, God welcomes them with open arms. I think the reason we want to convert people is so that they can see how amazing heaven is and live out eternity with God rather than living it out on just a slightly worse Earth.
    I’d be thrilled if my partner converted to Christianity, but I’m not going to try and make him believe. I don’t think that would be ok for me to do, and I don’t think he will burn or be tortured or anything for not believing.

    Reply
  46. GuNCh Bandit

    April 28, 2018 6:44 am

    Wow, I'm totally willing to be in a relationship with someone who is religious, but when you mentioned grandparents trying to convert my children to their beliefs… you made me think…

    Reply
  47. king of northumbria

    May 12, 2018 4:28 am

    My girlfriend is an atheist. I love her, but we're fairly young, and so I don't want to break up. But I don't wanna see her go to hell. Idk what I'm going to do, we barley talk about religion. Idk I'm just distraught about this.

    Reply
  48. Don’t get trapped In this shitty world

    June 8, 2018 12:42 am

    Fuck religion. I don’t consider myself an atheist but I don’t believe in Jesus or God. I don’t know what to believe.
    I feel religion stops certain people from being human because things are considered a “sin.”
    Fuck that shit.
    My boyfriend is religious and idk if I wanna be all up in that shit. We have talked about that stuff a lot. But I don’t know what to do.

    Reply
  49. Tina Marie J.

    June 19, 2018 2:14 am

    It is very hard being a non-believer and married to a hardcore believer. I grew up a Christian, got married when my husband decided to become a Christian and got baptized and 7 yrs after we wed I slowly made my way out of christianity. I can totally accept his continuous beliefs but he's having a hard time accepting mine and so it is very challenging.

    Reply
  50. Mrs. Enys

    June 24, 2018 2:13 pm

    The things that you mentioned are the obvious stuff, the surface level issues. With mutual respect and love, that stuff can be pushed to the side.
    What can’t be pushed to the side are the deep rooted core beliefs. As a real Christian, you have a completely different world view and you have a value system in you that the atheist does not have. A real Christian immediately knows right from wrong and knows the right road to take. Built-in GPS. Everything is black and white. No gray areas. You live by absolutes. An atheist will find himself not understanding his Christian girlfriend and why she acts or reacts in the way that she does on many different levels. Whereas, the Christian girlfriend will know exactly why her atheist boyfriend does the things he does. I’ve been in this type of relationship before and it doesn’t work.
    At first you think; my faith is strong, dating an unbeliever or other religion person won’t matter. Christian GIRL! Don’t you believe it! They don’t think the way you do! You will frustrate yourself. Things that matter the most to you in life are not what matters to him. You can’t share with him the things that mean the most to you in life. Your love for Jesus and how He is everything to you. That pure love. The kind you would die a martyr for, they don’t get. Honey, he is lost and walking in darkness. He will never get it. You have Jesus in your heart. He doesn’t. How could he ever know your heart?…”How can two walk together unless they be agreed?” But once you do date someone with whom you share this firm foundation, man, it’s like coming home. It’s just right! It feels right.
    Me personally, with the atheist men I’ve dated…I don’t know that I could ever fully trust them. By what authority do they live their lives? Answer; their own. Sure, they are law abiding citizens and good people who aren’t out to hurt people. But for the most part, they reason in their own minds their own set of guidelines to follow for their lives. Whereas you live by the authority of scripture and keep God’s commandments. How do you see that working out?

    Reply
  51. John Daker

    June 27, 2018 6:16 pm

    I am a male agnostic and I am dating a muslim girl. It is very tough a lot of times, because she does believe, that non-believers will go to hell.

    Also she does not want sex before marriage.
    Also she won't marry a non-muslim.

    but ASIDE from these very troublesome facts, there is one thing that really worries me:

    what if we one day get children? I would not want them to be raised as muslims. even IF we could agree on not imposing any religion on them, there would still be some sort of religious presence/pressure I suppose.

    She is 20 and I am 25. We really do love each other deeply, but I keep thinking about these issues and have no idea how to solve this problem.

    Any advice or suggestions from a friendly stranger? (:

    Reply
  52. SafeSpeeder

    July 10, 2018 6:52 pm

    Why would you date an ultra-religious person? They prolly think all the pleasures that make relationships fun are a sin and that you deserve eternal torment just for existing…

    Reply
  53. Amalie Oshaug

    July 15, 2018 4:23 pm

    This vid helped me just now.. Cuz I was in a realitonship there he was muslim and I did whatever it takes to make his parents except me. But the mother and the sister was against me because they didn't believe me that I was virgin and that no one in my family and back in time hade a baby with a family member. They didn't try to understand me. They fight with him after the first meet. Because they didn't like that I walk a little bit weird and that I wasn't muslim. In their culture they respect their parents so much. So the parents can make them change their mind just because they respect them and they want them to be satisfied. So when he was on the weakest he broke up because he thought he lose him parents. But he wouldn't lose his father because he was like me. Because he saw me for me not about my look or how I walk. He saw that I really love him and I have big heart. But he don't care about the father so that didn't work well. The father spoke with me even if he just moved into the country and the mother lived there for years and didnt speak to me. She didn't even try. So he broke up and blocked me from everything. Because his told him so. We both loved each other so much. Nothing was wrong in the relationship. He was my bestfriend and my boyfriend. The mother was the only problem that they thought about me as his wife not his girlfriend. And she didn't judge me from the heart, she was just looking and judge. Thank you! I should seen the worning signs

    Reply
  54. nyssaos

    September 10, 2018 7:33 am

    Hello friends, may I kindly ask you for an opinion. I am dating a wonderful guy for a month now. I am an atheist and he is Catholic. He is religious in terms of going to Church on Sunday's and as he said he prays almost every day. We are very opposite in the religious scale as I am not even baptized. We had our first discussion about it early on and then he decided to end it while it is easier, I respected his decision although I have never felt like I feel when with him with anyone before. He then came around few days later and said as much as it feels right for him to stick to his core beliefs and wish to date someone as religious as he is, that he cannot deny the connection he felt with me and that he wants to try and make it work. We then we decided to set these topic aside and give us the opportunity to meet each other's character. We are having a great time and it feels so right to be with him but I am still afraid of how flexible both of us can be… I respect all good that religion is giving the people and have no problems with following the rules which I am already doing, but I dislike church and shallow preaches. I am not sure if I can see myself getting married in a church or babtize my child. And these things are important to him. And doing it just for him I find hypocrithical. How much I can expect his to accommodate my views and in which ways? I have nothing agains he is teaching our children all the good things from the Bible but I don't want to force it upon them in terms of taking them to church at the early age…I want my children to understand the religion on a much deeper level which I have no problem with. Also, I want to teach them that science nad religion can go hand in hand. I want them to be introduced to the religion of their father but have wide understanding of other religions as well. How much is too much to ask from him in terms of our potential children's raising? thank you.

    Reply
  55. ヂモプォスLinda

    September 16, 2018 2:25 am

    I don't know if it is pure luck or what, but my boyfriend rarely talks about god, and I talked to him about this, he said that he was like an agnostic because he said that he didn't really like or want to go to church, and the same goes for his twin and parents, im a lucky one.

    Reply
  56. Topics

    October 11, 2018 7:26 am

    These atheists are unbearably bigoted. Won’t date someone because they believe in God. Should I not date someone because they don’t read books like me? Or because they don’t watch sports? Cmon people, grow up.

    Reply
  57. Blake Evans

    October 13, 2018 2:00 pm

    In faith and in doubt seem offencive as my athiesm isnt a doubt in god as much as it is a belife that they dont exist. If it were a doubt god existed then i would be agnostic.

    Reply
  58. Spordan Jieth

    October 19, 2018 12:22 pm

    No hardcore Evangelical Christian would date an atheist. Neither would a militant atheist or anti – theist date an excessively religious person. They would only date a mild to moderate religious person.

    Reply
  59. Cari

    November 16, 2018 7:42 pm

    That is wise..
    What if my bf wasn’t raised to believe in God, but he says he is open to believe in God… and he may be Catholic some day..?

    Reply
  60. Hazel Poad Sage

    November 26, 2018 11:38 am

    I was a Christian when I got married to my Christian husband, and now I am no longer a believer, I lost faith cos I think it's all BS. We have children to add to the mix. I struggled to find video's on this BIG problem, so thankyou for posting this information, I am not sure if I should leave him as we do not connect any more and he treats me like an idiot for my beliefs. People feel free to share your advice, thanks.

    Reply
  61. That one Guy

    March 3, 2019 8:04 am

    Tell a believer one thing one of the two happen 1. Thinks you think everyone else is a 💩 or 2. have you read the HOLY BIBLE MY CHILD

    Reply
  62. Bee Gee

    March 6, 2019 10:17 pm

    I once had someone trick me into attending a religious Christmas gathering. I was furious because they lied to me. That's a red flag.

    Reply
  63. spybubbble

    March 8, 2019 11:27 pm

    My husband is Catholic and I'm an Atheist. Religion is such a little part of our marriage. It hardly ever comes up and since we're not going to have kids, we don't have to worry about it in the future. His family members are not hard core Catholics either and one of his sisters even thought that it was good that I'm an Atheist. If we ever divorce, I highly doubt it'd be because of religion.

    Reply
  64. Jeffrey Bradt

    March 21, 2019 2:36 pm

    "Will [your children] attend church? Will they be baptized or confirmed or bar mitzvahed? Are you not willing to discuss those issues? If you don't have answers to those questions, ideally before the kids are born, you're in for some drawn out fights in the future. " ~from the description.
    WRONG.
    If you answer any of these questions before the kids are born except whether you are willing to discuss them, then you overstep your boundaries as a parent by deciding for them what they need to decide themselves. Be willing to discuss and NOT decide for the children what they should follow. Leave it up to people to decide for themselves what to believe, whether, and in which religion to participate as they grow. Give them facts, background and let them figure it out. Guide them; do not force them to believe or participate in rituals like baptism, bar mitzvah, or anything other religious rite.

    Reply
  65. Madeline Ingram

    March 24, 2019 5:38 am

    People who talk about how your "Christian" partner is becoming more atheistic or agnostic since being with you, those people were never true believers to begin with. Unless they became one AFTER meeting you which their focus would shift away from you. Believers are warned to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers in the Bible. And for obvious reasons. Someone filled with the Holy Spirit cannot enjoy fellowship with someone who is spiritually dead inside

    Reply
  66. Da blah

    March 24, 2019 5:40 pm

    I love your videos Hemant, you give me confidence to be open about my atheism in a super christian family

    Reply
  67. Don’t get trapped In this shitty world

    April 29, 2019 11:30 am

    I’m with a Christian.
    But idk for how much longer. We’ve been in a rocky boat the past few weeks.
    One thing I don’t get is why he stayed with me all these years. Why did he hold back all this religion and then throw it at me all at once. And he thinks I have no right to act the way I do. He let me fall in love with him first and now this love is going, not because he’s religious, but because I am not welcome into his family like he is to mine.
    His family is very 100% different. It’ll never work.

    Reply
  68. Leigh loves Simon

    May 4, 2019 2:25 am

    This is just sad. No one should judge. You can love anyone you want. A relationship is about partnerships, communication and patience. The more you think you know, the less you know. The dunning-kruger effect. All you have to do is love each other. Plain and simple, it's not that hard.

    Reply
  69. D mo-ra

    May 30, 2019 3:19 pm

    Have a open mind to fairy tales you enjoyed them as a kid as an adult you just have to entertain someone who believes in them in a religious way who is a adult_ Cinderella the Three Bears Rumpelstiltskin Jesus Moses and so on.

    Reply
  70. Matthew Tenney

    August 5, 2019 10:27 am

    The view of love is dramatically different from Christian to atheist. To the atheist love is nothing more than a feel-good drug with no more meaning than a drug addiction.

    Reply
  71. Theo Philus

    August 22, 2019 12:24 am

    Just because someone claims religious beliefs doesn't mean they follow those beliefs, nor does it justify their behavior. But just because you can find tons of bad examples for so called Christians does not make Jesus Christ's sacrifice for you any less meaningful. There are violent people who are atheists, violent people who claim to be Christians or Muslims etc. Sin is sin whoever does it. And the wages of sin is death but the gift of GOD is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. He suffered violence at the hands of evil people, tortured and crucified. Why? To pay a price you could not pay so that you could be reconciled with a holy GOD, One who is too holy for any of us to survive without His mercy. How holy? If you lust in your heart, that's enough to fall short. And if you covet someone's wife or stuff, that's enough to fall short. GOD is extremely patient, but eventually that patience wears out. In the OT, GOD finally brought judgment in the flood, why? It says the "thoughts" of man was only evil continually. Thoughts!! And He provided warning to all mankind through prophets and Scriptures that you need to be reconciled. Lots of warning. And there are Bibles scattered all over the earth in many languages, easily accessible on the internet. GOD has given plenty of warning to repent and reconcile with Him. The next judgment is Fire. The last was water. No matter what, you need Jesus. And He did everything you need. Just trust Him and follow Him and He has you covered by His blood. If you reject Him, you're on your own. But if you come to Him, He will never leave you nor forsake you. And that is His promise and His promises, unlike yours, never fail. If your child was ever abused, mocked, tortured, and killed by strangers, what would you do or want to do? Now think about this, GOD's own Son was viciously attacked, mocked, tortured and crucified by His own creation. GOD has the power and the right to exact His vengeance. All the more reason to reconcile to Him now by making peace with His Son Jesus.

    Reply
  72. Theo Philus

    August 22, 2019 2:08 am

    The Bible warns "not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers." But if you are unequally yoked, show your unbelieving spouse the sacrificial love of Christ, serve them, help them, forgive them, pray for them. Be the most gracious, patient, loving person they know in the whole wide world. When the world beats them down, you lift them up. When others reject them, you embrace them. When they need a kick in the butt, you give them the truth but in a loving manner. And when they feel they have no where else to turn, you make yourself that haven of rest and love they cannot find anywhere else. And if you are out of line, own it. Ask forgiveness. Humble yourself. Sin is sin. The compassion that lives inside a true converted Christian believer can be the oxygen in any marriage. My wife and I are believers. We will be celebrating 30 years of marriage together next spring, and she is my best friend on this planet, bar none. And we are truly thankful for each other.

    Reply

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